And another Nightshift full of dark and shadowy thoughts... Oh well actually
today proved to be a busy busy day. I woke up at 7.30 on the sofa of the
famous mudding commune of Cutter, Dazzt, Huppu and Walor and walked to the Bus
stop on the Ring near Läppevaara asema without being able to say goodbye to my
hosts... as they were obviously still sleeping. Sucked a bit as they have been
very nice to me during the last week and when I last saw them it was me who
was half asleep. BUT no use crying over spilled milk. So i arrive at the
airport and fly safely back home... un fortunately this time without free
upgrade ,). Back home I enjoyed the happiness of my very own bed... which
rocked after having slept on a sofa in the commune and under Glenfasts bed in
his hmm closet aeh apartment. To make a long story short my best friend called
me and informed me that he is celebrating his Bday today... GNNNn so I sleep
maybe 2 hours and then drag my sorry tired ass to his place. Well it was nice
but again it showed me how different my life in Finland and Germany is... I
missed Finland that instant I saw my german friends again. Don't get me
wrong.. I like them very much but they are just so german or different
somehow.. it is really hard to discribe. Well back home then for an hour or so
which I used to make some background research about the finnish 2 Euro coin i
traded from Ziba in the Saafiiri pub ...or however that name is written.
Turned out that only 600k of those were minted and only 500k of them reached
the stores as the other ones were reserved for colelctors. The coin was issued
for the acceptance of the ten new EU members... well it is VERY nice and I
will treasure it dearly. Hope that Ziba has survived his Krapula from
yesterday.. damned we DID drink a lot. Wasted a thought or two on the question
whether I shouldn't fly right back to Helsinki tomorrow after my nightshift
but I guess I decided against it. SIGH though I SHOULD come to a decision soon
what to do. This was my 14th visit and sooner or later someone will declare me
insane if i continue flying there all the time. It's just that it is so damned
nice for me to be there.. I actually think I am a different person there ..
and one I like more than the person I am here. An old friend offered me torent
one of his apartments from him but it is just one room and I don't
particularly like living alone. LOL well it is a weird idea anyway .. after
all moving there would mean to give up my job and giving up a solid contracted
job is almost equaling suicide in nowadays economy. Was fun to meet Drifter
again after such a long time.. must have been one year since I last saw him.
Sa me goes to Cutter. Desperately tried to argue Starshine out of suiciding
his character but so far didn't succeed.... sucks he is one of my oldest
friends and i know him in rl.. he WILL come back anyway... but he is a grown
up and everyone in this world is entitled to commit his or her own mistakes...
I'm still a bit sad that my visit to the states didn't work out as I had
rather high hopes of accomplishing some things there. But again.. one never
knows what it is good for. Next visit to Fu(i)nland might go to Kuopio to see
usvasumutin,Eki and dino again or Thiamin in Joensuu or (most prolly) to my
old friends to Oulu. The amount of close friends I have in Oulu is the second
highest of all finnish cities after Helsinki so it prolly is worth a visit
again. Well we will see... grin I just came back and already I am planning the
next trip... I am hopeless.... Well nightshift proved to be more stress than I
would have expected but having a great team here this night we managed OK I
guess. Co workers are in the adjacent room watching some Disney movie which I
gladly skipped to have more time to concentrate on you, dear blog. So what
else is new besides the fact that I am in hopeless state of yearning for love
and a hug? I have high hopes for our beloved area Votk again as it seems that
now everyone is working on it again so that if I really find energy this week
I can contribute my share to it. Speaking of Beloved.. I am a bit worried bout
him. His mobile was switched of the whole week when i tried to reach him while
being in Helsinki and even communal friends of ours whom I met in U.Kaleva, my
usual place to go when going to a bar in Helsinki, he has not been seen in
some days.... Oh well.. if I would start worrying about the whole world I
would become quite depressed... HAHAHAHA as if I weren't already... My ankle
still hurts like hell.. I hope I didn't tear anything there... I drunkenkly
got stuck in the sauna door in the commune.... anf it's not that it got that
much better.. But still.. it's not worse enough yet t o go and see a doctor so
I'll do what all men do... suffer loudly and tell everyone about my pain so
that they can share it ,). Heard from Dreoca today who run the Helsinki
Marathon which is something I really worship... I wish I would get ANY kicks
out of sports... besides some gymnastics on my bed .. preferably together with
someone good looking buuuuuuut thats another topic. SIGH 3 am .. still 3 h to
go and as I just had some food my food narcosis sets in.. even on the busiest
days I have been asleep around 4 the last week and as 3 am here is 4 am in
Finland... Thinking of it this was prolly the first time in my life when I did
not attend the big summernight festival in my city. It always ends up with
fireworks and me being rather drunk.. but somehow this has changed as well
over the years.. maybe everything else changes around me and I stay the same
ole... or maybe then again it IS me who does change... hmmm. Enjoyed an Email
of my hm ?former? best female friend.. it's sad that we almost stopped contact
nowadays as she is living in another city and in a stable relationship. But
still thats not really an excuse.. i guess it is again about me changing a lot
within the last 2 years or so. It is difficult to adapt to such situations but
still we struggle for our friendship and to some extent I figure we are still
soulmates whether we want it or not. BUT this is getting longer and longer
again and I'm not even sure whether anyone reads this anymore SO I NEED U
guys.. if U do read it tell me and maybe U will manage to magically conjure a
smile on my face of stone and will make me write more again. GNNN fecking
tiredness maybe I should go and watch the disney movie or maybe I should just
stop sitting here and pondering about my life because if one ponders long
enough one will ALWAYS find something sucky in ones life.. I admit I am
especially bad in finding the good things of my life. I seem to be just
mediocre.. except in pondering... there Im a specialist.. gnn. I guess my
strengths are just not hmm socially accepted.. Everyone worships a great
doctor or a great mathematician but a great listener or entertainer.. shrug.
BLAH time for RL.