One of the days where I feel as if the whole world wants me to kick it in its
face again. Met a friend who will leave my town soon and it's sad that we only
got to know each other better now that he will leave. Sat in the train back
home for 30 min afterwards and listened to some people talking there was this
one girl who desperately tried to get the attention of another girl who was
giving non verbal answers and yet girl a kept buggering her. I wondered
whether I'm that bad as well sometimes and think that I prolly am... seems
humans are nothing but animals ever so often. Somehow that simple fact managed
to get me rather down again though I am looking forward to my trip to Ivalo.
Feeling so damned lonely again. Tried to talk about a visit to NYC with a
friend which failed totally and hurt me even more. I should try to be self
sufficient and not care about others at all.. I should just become a fucking
lonely hermit and don't care about love or anything maybe I might find
happiness in that.