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Femko's Blog >> 12484

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Posted: 12 Jan 2005 02:47 [ permalink ]
Just came back from the movies.. saw a movie dealing with the elite schools
the nazis had in Germany to train their new leaders... Was a very nice movie
and like all these movies they provoke a lot of emotions in a german viewer.
So I'll be stereotypical and thoughtful today while i wonder what I would have
done.. like almost every other german I wish I could say: I would not have
participated in all that... but by  knowing myself better each day I fear I
would have to say that I prolly SURE would have been there... I am
intellectual capable of leading others, I don't have the physiology for it
though. But my intelect would prolly have allowed me a career anyway. With my
looks I might have fit in a supreme race category... It's freaking me out
atm.. they might have given me power and I might have taken it.. maybe I would
have been writing for a newspaper instead of coding here. Maybe I would have
lead others. It's fearful though it shows man's true self. I guess I would
have been a follower. I'm easy to inspire and I'm inspirational to others. The
more I think about it the more it frightens me. I am who I am because of when
I was born and because of how I was brought up but what would I have done in
different circumstances I cannot say ... yet no one can. Maybe that's one of
the reasons why I never would have wanted to go to army. Maybe I feared that I
would have liked it. BLAH ok sorry I might be boring u here.. it's just all
that pouring out of my mind that might help me relax a bit. Maybe I'm not
afraid of my own nature but of men's nature. Milgram's experiment and others
have shown what happens when u give a man power .. and who knows what you
would have done. Gnn blahhhh I hate wandering thoughts in my head.