Grrr Why do I get my spirits up all the time only to be slapped in the face by life itself again. Maybe thats what being an adult means, but it surely isn't my goal for life. It just So isn't. Though only a very small thing, my vacation plans for next week are once again ruined... within 3 days all my plans I developed are gone .. I got my hopes up up up again higher and higher only to fall deep deeper and deeper. So no USA and no Finland the way it looks like at the moment. Feeling empty and quite sure that it is a sign of my ever ongoing sopa opera life. I dunno why I even make plans if they are bound to fail anyway. I'm just so feeling empty and already curse myself to post this shit on the net... It just is so fucking unfair that whenever I finally think I got my moods up again something happens to kick me into the face and make me fall even deeper. Maybe i'll delete this entry again later, maybe Ill add even more shitty stuff... It's a sad fact that I will feel even more down in a few hours cause now it is decided that I will drink till I drop tonight. I don't get laid, my friends are all in finland and even when I wanna see them I fail cause I don't have a place there and even if I see them I am the eternal visitor and not the real guy. Maybe I never felt so empty in my head before.... good thing is that Im not sad but just empty and again I am bathing in my pain :P . Instead of getting my ass up and do something I am whining whining whining and more whining how sucky my life is and hoping for someone to pity me. I just somehow seem to lose my goal in situations like this.