emote ticks 1797 Sp [Now 1797 Sps] Still listening to Mad World whenever I
can. Day started with a very nice Email I recieved from Malcom... kinda
cheered me up and made me smile. A very good friend of mine told me yesterday
when looking at the pics of me in japan that he is amazed that I look so
relaxed on those pics and he seldomly would see me this happy and relaxed
here... it's funny or prolly just underlining what I always say, namely that
travelling is my fleeing from reality here into another reality full of what
if's.  Maybe still under the influence of the Donnie Darko movie --- otherwise
I wouldn'T know why all these surrealistic thoughts are jumping through my
head. Work was very quiet today so it gave me mucho possibilities to think and
ponder about whatever. Read the Blog of Thematrix and once again found that he
prolly is just wearing a very very fat mask in Batmud... like so many others.
Also read Malicat's latest ramblings about sex and love and I tend to
contradict and hope that Malicat might once find someone showing her the
opposite of what she wrote. Buuuut who am i to judge. Just realized that the
fucking hair i have had on my shoulder is growing back.. maybe shaving it
wasn't such a good idea... hm ok so much about major turn off's. Still
questioning reality... How could it would be if everybody could construct his
or her own little reality.. indeed we are doing this already to a certain
extend since everybody sees the world through his own body intern filters but
blah. I think loneliness is the worst factor in a persons life and the fact
that in the end everyone is alone when he or she dies is not very cheering up
as well. Which makes it even worse that humankind is spending an awful amount
of life pondering about what to do and how to think and how to become a happy
robot of society. And once human finally gets what he she it wants... he
thinks of something new to crave for... maybe this is the downfall of human
society or maybe the energy that drives us all to exist and maybe I should
stop doing philosophical excursions in  my blog, before some calls the guys
with a nise lil white jacket for me. I guess i just am afraid to spent too
much time of my life with finding my way through it that I miss all of it in
the end. Maybe thats also why I hate sleep. We only have not even a hundred
years on earth.. why waste 8h every day with sleep then.  Ok back to the usual
mud blog shit U want to hear.... Continued working on the area, added one mob
or tried to... seems as if Dino has some speciality in his virtual outerworld
driver that made it impossible for me to add the mob.. well at least it'S
coded and now just happily awaits to be released into the big mud world. The
area is currently undergoing review and beta tests and should be kicked into
game very soon. Anything else? Yes.. I'd like to continue rambling about
future after all... Made the mistake to look into my highschool yearbook and
ended up looking some of these names from back then up in google... fuck one
even is a damned Doctor.. blah. But then again .. I am more or less happy
(HAHAHA), I have a job and I can travel.... I am healthy (besides a beer tummy
and a fucking Depression) and I got friends.... I will rock.. again it'S like
standing in front of a thin ice wall.. U can glimpse through it but it hasn't
fully melted yet.. and u try to melt it but U freeze so that u have to take
breaks sometimes. Maybe one day I'll find the person to help me melt my wall.
And now to sleep :). Any comments on my blogs are welcome so that I know U
still read em and don't think me totally crazy yet.. but don't make the
mistake to call me normal... I once said that's the biggest offence someone
could do to me.