One of these days when reality strikes as real as it is.. I mean why can't we
live in a somewhat nicer universe where people actually use the thing between
their ears to think about life and their fellow beings on the planet instead
of spending time fighting. It prolly indeed is the animal in us but it sucks.
Fuck.. never ever have I felt so far away from mud than today. Some things
happened, enochian got removed and I have had some fights, one ending in me
being ignored which made me very sad and angry cause I think evading a
conflict can't be the real way for grown ups. Shrug But then again I was
rather agitated myself so who knows what it was good for. Maybe should take a
mud break, maybe I should start again with having a real life, maybe I should
move to Nepal and become a monk and maybe I should cut my toe nails again..
fucking decisions. What IS a normal life? the often cited fucking happy robot?
nah that can't be - at least not for me. If not being a robot means doubting
my sanity till the end of my life then be it so. Big nice, very nice, very
very nice talk with Starshine at the end of my day so at least senseless
fights DO have a good effect on on or the other thing. Realizing how sucky my
written english is becomming.. even stopped reading my old blogs... maybe
because they started to become even weirder than I can stand. Ok stopping that
now for today and crawling into bed, mourning about humankind