Warning...Am drunk warning... Should learn to trust my judgement of people...
I really should... Just another of those days where I feel betrayed down to
the core by those I learnt to trust over careful attempts. Maybe all the anti
depression pills of the world cannot do anything about the depression that
follows being betrayed by by those that one likes. BUUUUT it's my life.. I
should learn from these and get stronger..but somehow it still is hurting me
more than it should. Been busy getting drunk each of the last 3 evenings.. Got
one more day off work then 3 early shifts.. sigh buuut it's money and at least
I like my job and I don't feel like real working but like having fun when I go
to work..  Had a long and nice webcam conversation with Pokka whom I met at
Kuopiocon and it seems as if I might end up in his Mökki with him when I fly
to Finland on Monday. Would mean that my journeys would take me to Vaasa this
time.. which would rock cause I don't know that part of Finland. Blah I like
and hate this evenings when Im alone and getting drunk.. originally I once
swore to myself that I would look for help if I would start drinking on my
own.. Oh weeeeeell. German saying is everyone is closest with himself.. or
something like that.. Maybe I should just try to forget the rest and live my
life.. it's just a bit difficult to be me sometimes.