Library: It's Tarken's Fault

Tarken strolled leisurely into the hall of wizards, congratulating himself on achieving immortalhood. He hauntingly looked around the room and spotted Zonni muttering to himself alone in a corner. A hint of a smirk appeared on Tarken's face. He said, "Ah, my friend Zonni. It is GOOD to be a wizard! Did you know that I have taken the liberty to join every single guild know to mortals? I am ALL POWERFUL! I am LORD TARKEN! I bet I can even take you on." Zonni seemed to snap out of whatever's troubling him and returned a cold stare. The room had suddenly gone very quite. Neither Tarken nor Zonni moved in a contest not to blink. Suddenly Tarken disappeared. There are neither loud crackles of air nor any flashes of light. He just simply faded into the shadows. Seeing, or not seeing this, Zonni started chanting quietly. "Haii!" came a deafening shout as Tarken popped into existence behind Zonni and shredded the air towards him. Tarken's attack caught on an invisible force field just inches away from Zonni's head. Instantly dropping low, Tarken backspins and swept Zonni legs off the floor. Even as Zonni falls towards the floor, his clothing changed. Flowing velvet robes hardened into leather and steel, shaping itself into traditional body armours. Two HUGE axes made of diamonds shimmered into Zonni's hand and caught on fire as he let out a war cry, "FOR GROO!". Rolling out of the fall, Zonni instantly launched into a flurry of attacks. Tarken, realizing that's his puny fists are no match for an enraged barbarian, executed a series of back flips to get out of harm's way and buy himself time. Zonni, planning to chop Tarken into tiny pieces, again charged after him. Calmly staring into Zonni's crazed eyes, Tarken extended his right hand, and a druid's staff made of ebony appeared. He inscribed the runes '# !#' onto the floor. Flowing mud appeared at Tarken's command. Zonni charged straight into the mud and got stuck. Every struggle only seemed to sink Zonni further into the mud. Tarken visibly relaxed. He smugly said, "Zonni, Zonni, Zonni, you have gone soft from all those years of idleness." Tarken slowly takes out his famous abacus and an evil glint appeared in his eyes, "But I, LORD TARKEN, in my suffering in the mortal realm, has gained a power so great, not even YOU can stop me!" Zonni is coming out of his killing frenzy and realized what's going on, he said, "NO, you won't DARE to use THAT!" "But, oh yeeess" Tarken stared lecturing Zonni on the economics of batmud. Zonni screamed, "No! Make it stop. Tarken, you will pay dearly for this." Ignoring Zonni's plea, Tarken changed his lecture to the finer points of identifying mineral deposits, and Zonni's eyes started to go red. Tarken says, "Man! This attack tires me out too much." To Zonni's horror, Tarken takes out a robot who automatically resumed Tarken's lecture. Zonni finally lost it. With a blood curdling scream. A shimmering energy bubble exploded around him and started to expand. Wherever the bubble touched, strange things happened. A chair twisted into life and started humping a desk. Torches on the wall grew into a group of worms with flaming heads and started to build miniature pyramids. Some other unfortunate objects simply melted or turned into dust. Tarken, not being an idiot, fled into the mortal world. Unfortunately, the strange energy followed him. In the city of Arelium, all the guards turn into pink elephants with flapping wings. Pigeons grew into dragons and snacked on adventurers. Outside, simple grasses grew into ancient towering trees and withered in seconds. Apes evolved ego and destroyed each other in the blink of an eye. Finally, the universe is unable to contain any more of this havoc. The world imploded on itself with a audible 'pop'. Zonni poked his head out from the hall of wizards. Seeing the destroyed world, he sighed and said, "Aww, I did it again!". Zonni shuffled to a dark corner and went back to his depressed sulking. (Note from author: What I'm trying to say is, blame Tarken for crashes.)

Login to BatWeb

Forgot your password?

Library: It's Tarken's Fault