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Library: The depression of the aged adventurer

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Author: blunt
Date:Dec 1 2004

The long dark autumn had turned into winter, and the aged adventurer
looked through the darkened window with his aged tired eyes. From the
window opened a view to the valley which ended to the lines of moutains,
with one snowy peak standing out more higher than the others. A tear
rolled in the corner of the eye of this old adventurer as he focused his
glaze on the highest peak. The peak brought memories back to this aging
old man, that were not so pleasant. On that very same peak, he had lost
three most important fellow adventurers he ever had. The adventurers, who
faced their doom in the snowy peak just few months ago, were just not 
fellow adventurers, they were his most beloved friends from his early years.
A gush of happy memories filled the mans mind. Rat killings with his friends
in early years on strongholds basement or ambushing of little puny goblins in 
the nearby forest. These thoughts made the adventurer to snort a little. 
Despite of the warm and happy memories from the past, one day, and one act 
had changed these happy and joyful times in the mind of this old man, to
a feeling of guilt and hopelessness. 

The man knew, that he was known in many places of the world due to his
marvellous sense of reading the progress of combat, and persistent skill of
leading the group into victorious battle. Despite all this fame and even a 
little exaggerated stories about his actions in the past, for the first time
in his life, he had started to question his own capabilities as a leader. 
It was true, that he had led groups of different combinations to victories 
from even sometimes overwhelming enemies, but the last experience had truly 
changed him somehow. It was not only about losing the confidence of leading 
others, but the losing of confidence of leading himself. He knew that the 
ravaging trolls terrorizing the countryside were not easy opponents, but he 
should have also though about the environmental advantage the trolls received 
from being attacked at their very own mountain. A sudden flash from the past
event suddenly seized his mind.....

"Sir.....SIR! We are outnumbered, we have to retreat!!"
"There is no exit! The trolls are blocking all the ways out!"

The aged adventurer snapped himself out of this unpleasant vision, and sighed
deeply. He knew it was his idea to take the shortcut through the slope to 
reach the troll leaders quarters, which had caused this devastating result. 
He himself had managed to escape from the battle by jumping to the nearby 
ledge leaving others behind. He, who had always been a great leader, first led
his troops into unfamiliar environment, and then when the others needed help, 
abandoned them and saved his own ass. Eventhough this event had taken place 
months ago, he still did not find any reason for his cowardly actions in the 
battle and to this total failure in being a leader. It did not bother him
what rumours were spread about the event amongst the villagers, but what he
was bothered about was, that he could not find any valid explanation for
leaving his friends behind facing their death by themselves. He knew, he had
betrayed the trust of his friends, and that it was not possible to gain this 
trust back.


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