The next "News Article" I made up is a joke:

Bush succeeds in mission of spreading freedom, democracy, compassion and
Christianity

The muslim world has rejoiced when Bush has sent freedom, democracy,
Christianity and compassion to them. The muslims threw a parade rejoicing
Bush's politics which have been a huge success in the Middle-East. Bush
commented: "I am a compassionate conservative. I spread freedom and democracy
throughout the Middle East." The Baptists have joined in a group prayer hoping
for Bush to replace Jesus on the right-hand side of God.