Yog-sototh tells you 'We're rammin' as fast as we can, Cap'n!'
The UNK Helen sails away to the east.
The ship travels east.
Yog-sototh tells you 'We destroy'd tha Helen!!!'
The ship shatters completely as it plows into the side of Helen, tearing long
gashes in its hull.
The ship starts to lurch... and then begins to SINK!!!
Yog-sototh tells you 'Tha ship's goin down, Cap'n!!!'
The ship has been incapacitated. You may 'jump overboard' to get off; other
routes have been disabled. If you choose to stay, you may help defend the 
ship against scavengers until it can be salvaged.
At any time, you may 'surrender' at the helm... all defenders will be kicked
off the ship and no one will be left to protect the ship from scavengers. 
However, this may save the lives of some of the crew.
Yog-sototh tells you 'Can'nae make ena progress like this, Cap'n!'

la map
This dirty paper map scroll is what seems to be a map of some kind.

  _________________________________________________________
 / 
(   )___--_____________--___________________-----___________)
  `                                                        '
  |   Hear ye, thee who finds this scroll!  For ye are     |
  |   about to be revealed a location of a most            |
  |   glorious treasure of yer life!                       |
  |                                                        |
  |                                                        |
   |   Ye landlubbers .. knowin' that .. summer of the      |
  |   treasures on Ancient Ruins of Rothikgen .. (you      |
  |   can't make out this part of the text)                |
  |                                                        |
  |               -- Golloth the Toothless                 |
  |                                                        |
  '                                                        /
 /  ___________----________--________________________________
(   )                                                        )
 
_/________________________________________________________/

Quickly analyzing the condition and penmanship of this map, you
get the distinct feeling that it may not be very accurate. When
at the location, you might want to 'excavate' in order to dig
for the treasure.

This item is in good condition.
It looks very light weight.



Or perhaps just a long lost cousin...

You tell Gurth 'play an april fools joke one me, oh powerful wiz ;)'
Gurth tells you 'i got laid!!!'
You tell Gurth 'good one!'
Gurth tells you ':D'

2802: Wandering skeleton of Henry

Kohothegreat {wanted}: some priest to give me handjob
You tell Kohothegreat 'it'll cost ya extra!'
Kohothegreat tells you '100k if you manage to give burgle arm!'
...
You start concentrating on the skill.
You have high hopes.
You are prepared to do the skill.
You slash you wrists and watch you life slowly ooze into a bowl. Carefully you
lift up the bowl toward the heavens and mutter a brief rite. Then you slowly
pour the congealing liquid over Kohothegreat's head. its complexion darkens
briefly, then quickly returns to normal.
You watch in shear amazement as another appendge sprouts from Kohothegreat's
body.
You are absolutely stunned and amazed and can only say 'Wow...'.
You exclaim '100k!'
You yell 'Gimme gimme gimme!!!'.
Kohothegreat hisses 'wow lucky bastard.'
You go 'MUAH'.
Bank transfer from Kohothegreat of 100000.00 gold