Joo-o. Sitä meinaa vähän pelailla tätäkin pitkästä aikaa, niin pelkästään
kuolee ja runkkarit tulee upottamaan laivan.

Taitaa taas mennä pari kuukautta ennenku tarvii seuraavan kerran.

I guess I'll be skipping lq 46, Return the chest. Same goes for 50, 51 and 52,
all for the same reason:
Too big monsters, can't do them solo and getting a party with my social skills
is more trouble than the quests or, hell, this entire game is worth.
Side effects include that I can forget about getting quest count up to 50.

Nasu tells you 'pidäs nyt se turpas kiini'

(22:34) Hauhto tells you 'jostain syystä susta tuli mieleen ja hävisin'

Just soloed lq 38, Vulcan, since getting a party is too damn hard.
I no officially hate the damn quest.
And every other quest that the coder intended to be done with a party.
Just so you know.
Fuckers.
And save princess daisy I hate twice.

Rebirth, they said.
Go lich, you don't want to reinc anyway they said.
Try tigers, it's a good guild they said.

If the 'they' in the above weren't mostly me, I'd stop taking their advice.

Ei tästä jumalauta tuu YHTÄÄN MITÄÄN. Jokainen 1k mosa vetää lättyyn, ja
niitäkin pitäs tappaa kymmeniä tuhansia että siitä sais jotain.
Ei helvetti.
Mitähän tässä tekis. Toteaisko et birthi oli virhe, vai reinkkiskö joksku
perustankiks jos se ois helpompaa, vai retiremorottaisko vaan ihan suoraan?
Tai sit vois tietty vaan olla pelaamatta ilman mitään erityistä päätöstä.

Today, I exped in Digga's, killing bunnies.

Yeah, rebirth. I'm not sure how to feel about it. But being a lich rocks.

Mikään ei suju ja puolukkamehukin vittuilee.
ÄÄ

Sigh. Stupid once-per-boot quests. I already did it once, but then there was
crash and restore and the quest went poof.
Now I'm very, very tired of again and again finding that someone was there
before me, and already either did the quest of just fucked it up.
Sigh. As long as I don't take more levels, I can still (in theory) do the
quest, but can only spend exp in stuff so pointless that I generally rather
just die with it than haul my arse to lucentium to train. I want levels,
dammit!

Tonight, it feels like a burden to be me. Always keeping it up with the funny
stuff that's not funny, no matter how tired. And the pointlesness of
everything. Nothing is more than a momentary distraction.
What makes it worse is, that this is as good as it gets. Nothing I could ever
do will make any real improvement. Hoo fucking ray.

Yesterday I noted I'd gotten to middle aged already. That means the need to
reinc is creeping closer again. Which, in turn, means I need to start hoarding
cash to cover the expenses.
Today, mer-mines were implemented. How nefarious. Now I'll be spending my
petty cash on arming myself with mines, instead of saving for reinc. It's a
conspiracy, I'm sure of it.

26 now. Another year gone. Sigh. None the wiser.

Progress in human relationships, Mazzon style:
Today I realized I had moved from disliking a person to hating him. I found
that I no longer just wanted his absence and to not hear his voice.
I have reached the point where his being gone is not enough, I want to hurt
him. Silence his bloody annoying voice with violence. Maybe feel the
temperature of his blood, maybe kill him.
I won't, of course. I'm a nice person and not a violent one. I'm not even
going to taunt him. But I still hate him like burning.

Dark, soul, whisper, wood, string, raven, song, night, moon, wind, shadow,
heart, silver, shade.
Combine two for first name, and two for last name.
Feel free to send money as royalties for using this elf name generator.

First 100M exp down. And to think, that if I had hands I could have had it
years ago.
I don't feel any different, though.
quit
damn

My latest theory is, that thoughts of deviant sexual activities performed with
sexy space pilot chicks cause instability in unix systems.

Three be the thing I am wiser to know: The price of a pint, a friend, and a
foe.
Three are the things I don't want in my house: other people's secrets, fire,
and cows.
Three vices with which I'm unlilely to part: slacking, farting and
pornographic art.
Three are the things I'd be better off without: nosy people, allergic
reactions, and trout.

Move along, nothing to see here. As if you never wasted your time with
something like this, sheesh.

Blow, blow, blow your goat, gently 'till he creams!
Merrily, merrily, merrily merrily just like on tv!

This is the sort of crap that pops into my head now and then. I think I need
councelling.

Quarter of a century gone, and it sucked. Hope next one is better, although
there's quite a slim chance of that.

The cloth man speaks.

Sigh. Quite long I managed to keep the policy of not deleting my blog crap.
Another good statistic ruined.

There really is nothing to make you feel goth like licking blood off the edge
of a black-bladed knife.

Hei, olen paahtoleipä ja nimeni on Substanssiarvo Purkutyömaa.

Been acting more like a complete dick than usual. I wonder what's eating me
lately.

Tää taitaa olla taas niitä paiviä.

"My cock, it has a first name, it's "fuck-you-in-the-ass". /
My cock, it has a second name, it's "fuck-you-in-the-ass"..."

Damn, there should be a law against this sort of stuff playing in one's head.

Sigh. Idling is a lot less satisfying nowadays.
Fc+, which used to be a good channel for talking toot when bored, is pretty
much dead now. All the people who have friends have dispanded into more
tight-knit splinter groups, and moved to other ss:s.
So what to do now? Find myself a new clique to talk toot with? Makes me sad,
really. Should probably give up mudding.
What's left for me here anymore? The last time I enjoyed the actual gameplay
was back in 2003 or so i think. 
I just don't know. 

Yay! Got my good ship Orvokki upgraded, and on schedule too.
Now I just need more money for fine sailors and that regenball and whatnot... 
No rest for the crabmen.

Got the money together for the ship upgrade now, a month ahead of schedule.
So now I hear I also need an item that has at least 7 int or wis.
What saddens me is, that I've never had a piece of equipment that gives that
much of any stat (aside of my locblade).
It's good to know that nothing you've ever had was even good enough for spare
parts. But that's BatMUD for you. If you aren't a highbie, you're nothing.
So this is me now, soloing more petty cash to buy some stupid piece of eq I'll
never use to get an expensive toy that doesn't really benefit me in any way. I
hope the wizzes never notice how I play this game, I'd be removed for doing it
all wrong.

I'm feeling dramatic today. You know, sort of craving for that gothic, dark,
game-ending stuff, guys fencing on collapsing bridges, that stuff.
Sort of makes me wish I had it in me to write stupid shit nobody will ever
read. Novel-sort of shit, not like this blog I mean. Whatever.

Maagisen Ammattimainen Zapatisti ja Zairelaisittain Omahyväinen Navigoija.
Only a bit over one third oleft of the push for the ship upgrade.

Renamed my locblade today. Now I feel like a complete sellout, or like I'd let
down a friend. 
I suck.

Minor setback in my sailing career. Apparently the next necessary ship upgrade
will cost somewhat more than expected. Roughly 1,6 million more than expected.
But so be it. Just means I'll have to actually play this game for a bit to
come by the dough. I think I'll aim at getting it done by the end of next
month.

Just got my ship sunk for the first time. Not fun. Considering crawling under
my bed to cry now.
Perhaps icecream will ease the suffering.

Hohum. Boring, boring, boring... just ate some instant pasta crap, left me
hungry. Raining outside, already got wet once, now wondering if I should go
buy some more food.
Don't really feel like doing anything... pondering perhaps should go to
ropecon, but even if I go, I'll probably end up just wondering around doing
nothing
Damn it sucks to be me.

My mom had her 50th birthday party yesterday. Lots of people, lots of fun, all
that.
Now I'm at my parent's place, eating leftover sallads etc and drinking
leftover beer. Lots and lots of leftover beer. I'm gonna have a hard time
finding the inner strength to drag my ass back home.

Today, on the 13th of July, round half past one pm: defeated naughty sorceress
in KoL. Can now ascend when I feel like it.
On the downside, there wasn't even a trophy for it.
Thankless bastards.

Ja jos kuolema (vittu) on yhtä vittumaista kuin tämä sooloexpaus, niin
meikäläistä alkaa vituttaa niin paljon ettei otakaan ressiä, vaan painelee
jonnekin vittuun kittaamaan vitusti kaljaa.

So, took a little summer vacation at my parents' place. Lived in their
expense, just sat around on my fat ass, played games with my little brother.
Which, on the whole, was nice.
Couldn't really mud much, nor irc as much as I'm used to. Made me sort of
jittery.
Which was not so nice.
Got some semi-forced caffeine-withdrawal. Perhaps will help cut down a bit.
Which, while not nice, was perhaps good for me.
Missed a ton of turns in KoL.
Which sucks.
Oh, anyway. Back now.
Same old shit.

So Lampsa immorted. Seeing the message about it, only one question passed
through my mind...

"Who the fuck is Lampsa?"

Funny how you can find out things about people... 
Like, I'm here reading through the archives of Everything Jake (webcomic), and
come across a point where a person's bragging about reading through Harry
Potter in three days.
Now, the fact that everyone in the comic agrees to this being fast reading
makes it rather evident that the cartoonist considers it fast, as well.
Which means the cartoonist is a bloody slow reader.
Ha! I pity the fool.

Just got one of my great ideas again...
Let's run all text intended for channels through a parser, which would of
course reject all comments with a parenthesis mismatch!
It'd be really great, just think about the drop in the amount of smileys on
channels!

Funny thing, this blogging... sort of verbal equivalent of masturbating in
front of a mirror, a person's tribute to their own narcissism, and at the same
time begging for attention, even from an imaginary audience.
In the end, it doesn't matter whether anyone reads a blog or not. The medium
being the way it is, an attention whore (yes, we're all attention whores,
admit it or not) can get their kicks without anyone actually ever seeing their
uninteresting text.
In fact, the possibility that nobody ever reads the blog makes it easier to
write. One can post stuff they'd rather not admit, thinking 'why not, it's not
like anyone's going to read it anyway'. 
So twisted, perverted... at the same time it's beautiful and disgusting.

There's this dream I've had a few times recently. I'm standing in a place with
trees, but not foresty, maybe a park or an orchard, and I'm waiting for
something.
I know my friends have gone ahead of me, but I need to stay and wait, and
whatever it is I'm waiting for will come soon.
That's about it. If I believed in that sort of things, I'd probably think it
means something, but as it is, it's just a weird dream.

Everybody hates me, and I don't have any beer. Crap.

You can drink booze if you're happy, and you can drink booze if you're sad.
But I've noticed, drinking water when you want to drink booze is a rather sure
way to bring bad thoughts to mind.
Depressing. Really depressing. 

Some days, after searching for a place for a good while, it dawns to you, that
maybe you actually DON'T remember where the fucking lizardman shrine is.

Is it true, that the good days are in the past?
Has the best song played, is the prettiest girl taken?
Is this what's left, a trip downhill and fast?
Should we face the truth, is it time to awaken
from the dreams of happiness we still hold?
Barely ante'd, already time to fold?

Insecure
Will they laugh or will they sigh
Is there even shade in the darkness?
Should I rejoice, or should I cry
Can my weavings withstand any stress?

Fake a smile
Swallow back the bile
Submit to the trial
Fearing denial

Insecure
Does anyone enjoy one bit?
Show what you have and hope it's enough
Will the cat purr, or hiss and spit?
If it didn't matter, would it be so tough?

So fake another smile
Swallow back the bile
Submit to the trial
Fearing denial

Insecure
If I failed, would I be told
The true opinions might go unsaid
I won't ask, I'm not that bold
None of it will matter, in a century we're all dead

Vain sata tunkkia iskee tulta, ja koko emälä räjähtää.

Ranted on channel today again. Seems I don't have the least bit of self
control over it.
Then again, from a selfish point of view it's kind of therapeutic to ramble on
to some unwilling listeners like that. One would need to pay good money to do
the same at a shrink.
Of course could talk to real people, but nah. Can't do that really. Much
easier to jost go on about stuff online, where it's all just text.
*'

Today's a good day to die... or just whine.
Current status: tired, bored, and slightly melancholic with plenty of
suppressed anger towards the society and myself.
And of course, nobody to play russian roulette with. Same as ever. Too bad,
even virtually shooting myself in the head sort of relieves the angst.
Why are there so fucking many people in this world who have to think they're
great and somebody gives a flying fuck about their little miserable lives? Few
things are more annoying than people who think they rock.
Is it so hard to realize that just because you can do something doesn't mean
you're great at it? And that if everybody thinks you annoying, then maybe,
just maybe, you really ARE annoying?
Fuck this shit. Didn't even realize how angry I was before starting to write.
Damn good nobody reads this crap.

Now listen to me, we're the Kings of BS, coming to town! When we talk shit,
lesser heads explode! Kings of BS KICK YOUR ASS! Kick your ass, ANAL TALK
KILLS!

Stop! Have a beer, has anybody ever told you that you look like a star? I sit
at the bar, and I drink, 'cause it makes me happier than being alone.
My good friend, Johnny Walker red label, keeps me warm like a cunt. 
Seems like everybody's got something I have not: A reason not to die. Death to
mr. Right, he makes me sick.
Yeah, yeah yea.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Seems like everybody's got something I have not: A reason not to die so I say
death to mr. Right, 'cause that's not me.

By refraining from punishing me for being a whiny asshole, the powers that be
are neglecting their duty to the society.
Just like my parents, who didn't hit me often enough, which is why I grew up
to be a whiny asshole in the first place. 
We don't get decent authority these days...

Feeling childish today. Talk like a little kid. Big stone come down and hit me
a lot, but didn't kill me. So didn't really hit me that much. 
Wonder if these days when I feel this childish are a healthy sign of not
repressing my inner toddler, or just a nasty sign of utter stupidity?
Wanna play with red bally!

Troll in news getting nice catch. So at least something's looking up. Too bad
half of the people who didn't think of me as an asshole before this propably
do now.
Oh well, fuck 'em.

Why I like to blast with lightning:
Lightning is showy, and looks cool. Besides, other damtypes aren't so much
fun, as follows.
Fire damage: Pretty basic. Only problem is that fire in general is a slower
thing. You're supposed to set somene aflame, then laugh while watching them
panickedly writhe in agony. Bat fire is just a quick puff of flame. Boring.
Magic damage: What the hell is this 'raw magical energy' really? Can't really
relate to it. Too abstract.
Cold damage: Rather cool, pun unintentional. The problem only is that in
reality, freezing stuff just isn't that powerful. After all, temperatures only
go down to absolute zero.
Asphyxation: Too far fetched, and without nice visuality.
Acid: Again a problem that acids just aren't that powerful really.
Poison: Now this would be fun, if it worked like a real poison. Somewhat same
as with fire, once you gas someone with poison etc, they should die slowly,
writhing in agony. Not just quickly take damage from the poison and carry on
as usual.
Psi: As such pretty fun, but lacks the nice visual effects.
So, I prefer electricity.

Lost leads for thrikhren. Whee!

Got leads for thrikhren. Whee!

On this day, I have found illumination, realizing the true path to true rest,
and nirvana.

Wanted: blog freeze-possibility.

After all these years, you know what I find? Insanity only gets you so far.
Ignorance only gets you so far. Without a reason, you'll tire eventually. A
reason that is made up just because you need one only lasts as long as you can
keep lying to yourself.

Worse than the tunes is the people. Every fucking 2d old newbie is so damn
full of themselves it's a small wonder they don't burst.
Nobody is punished for anything besides doing ranger quests or acting against
certain groups.
So I'm annoyed. And I can't really do shit about it. Suicide solves nothing,
but it's tempting nonetheless.
And a small message to some of you: Fuck you, fuck your mother, fuck your dog,
fuck the fucking high horse you rode in on.
If you suspect that message was to you, consider your attitude. If you find
it's immaculate and beyond criticism, it indeed was for you.

Some days I'm just so fucking annoyed with this game. More flowery shit to go
around then in a hippie commune.

How much more? How many nights of mudding, how many megs of exp, how much more
of everything untill the day when I finally stop lcutting, dammit?

Almost anything in life is tolerable, in the end, as long as you don't think
about it. It's the thinking about it that makes you want to do something about
it,.

Sen, minkä ihminen kylvää, Saatana korjaa pois.
--YUP, Maailman viimeinen yö

Nobody will play with me! I feel so unwanted I think I'll pick on the next
newbie I come across.

Lost leads for Drow, whee!

Got leads for Drow, whee!

Somehow, I don't think the rest of the party would approve of me writing a
blog right now... 

Hour and a half down of this mudding session, Experience gained: 0. I'm making
too much of a habit out of this idling.

Right now, I feel like drinking a load of Kossu, taking my pants off and
dancing badly in live tv, just to gyrate my fat, hairy ass in everybody's
face.

Just had this funny idea of an ss: To qualify for membership, you have to kill
vampires for total worth of X exp solo and wielding only a whip.

Decisions, decisions... Should I eat now? As I'm not getting a party, should I
idle around or play something else? If, then what? FF5? DOAX beac volleyball?
SW Knights of the old Republic? Dammit.

I feel like performing kata-moves alone, naked, on the dewy grass of a late
summer's night, in the beautiful light of a full moon.

Really nothing to say today. No idea why I'm even writing this.

A wee bit past 6 am, should be sleeping. Logged into mud, should be mudding.
Life fucked up, should be depressed. Should damn well do something about
something. Propably not going to, anyway.

I don't understand why I still drop in here every now and then. I haven't
actually played in some time...
I just about quit playing after I reinced to this priest. I just can't play
anything besides tank. As a caster I can't solo, and as I very seldom get to
any parties, being a caster is (for me) just idling, waiting for the courage
to just do another reinc.
But again and again, I find myself idling here... I read the news, read the
channels for a while, and feel bummed for not being able to do anything.
I don't understand what I'm getting out of this game that keeps me coming
back. I'm not having any fun as it is, and I don't have any friends here, so
maybe it's just a habit. Now I'll just go back to not doing anything about any
of this.

I should never have done this reinc. And it's not only this damn stupid
make-your-exp-again thing, I really, really shouldn't have reinced to a
caster.
How did I ever forget what it's like? Did I really think I'd magically start
getting into parties just by being a blaster? And soloing like this is pretty
fucked up, especially with the current tune where smallish monsies are even
smaller exp and tune fast
So now, I really only have two options. Either I drudge the 2 months and then
do another infernal reinc, or then I just suicide and embrace the bittersweet
oblivion. Yay me.

I hear Duke gave Kalkkis his boots back. Awfully nice of him. I just wonder
whether he's a nice person or just drunk.

In other news, I hear thief guild is open again. Not fun. Especially if
thieves are going to be treated like tigers, i.e. they can't be punished for
being asshole sons of bitches who deserve a painful death by anal rape done by
an elephant.

Idle. Watch others mud. Pick on people, give odd tells to newbies. Idle more.
And while idling be sure to sit there, watching the mud prompt...

Won 10M in exp lottery. Damn I feel good. Actually got some stuff trained for
a change. And they say gambling doesn't pay...
After upping several levels, I also now have some non-maxed skills again.
Again there's some reason to do exp. I feel better mudwise than in a long,
long time.
I can honestly recommend winning in exp lottery for everyone. This rocks.

Why am I doing this? Why do I keep coming back to this silly game? It seems
all fun's really gone from it, but somehow I find myself back in here again.
What's there for me anymore? Just the same, slow, boring exp drudge. It
doesn't even gain me anything, it seems the last 20M I've made has gone down
the drain leaving me with nothing.
Explore. The word has a bitter taste now, the glory is gone. When people ask
for an explore party on wanted, all they want is safe running through known
places, because that's the best exp now.
other?