Back for another few months, in my favorite guild

You purchase 4190 shares for 419000 Exp.
You have a total of 4190 shares.

You take a huge pile of gold coins from a bridge troll's moneybox (full).
cash: 12613 [+9251]

sweet

56874: A young white belt ninja in training 

Your marvellous sense of combat prevents your Wang from getting scratched.

You realize that Wandering nomad is running out of choices and deceitfully
show
mercy on him. You lower your Wang as a sign of trust and offer your hand to
Wandering nomad, who reaches for it. You hide your smirk, and disgustingly
raise
your weapon to slash Wandering nomad.

hehe

10553: a monk is here torturing lost souls   

sneaky sneaky turbo mob

103602: the Frost Giant Jarl and Witch Doctor

373888: The mother of all mushrooms

Mushroom hits Thorfinn the christmas elf 4 times causing heart tissue to fly
everywhere.
hp: -176 (1148) [-1122]

110714: The fearsome replicator mushroom

d
145587: Grand Master Alchemist enchanting things

Reinc'd back to kharim..did it right this time, nixed the skills that i didn't
care for and bumped up the ones i really needed. Focusing on damage...so
picked giant for strenght/size(107 size now in spawn form).  

9112: Zinko Voimapaallikko the Vampire

Kharim-ma...Kharim-ma shok-ti-dae

monk/tarm now...lost my 6M caster set in a crash, i am eqless.

You receive 324000 coins on '23'

You receive 324000 coins on '33'

You receive 162000 coins on '33'

You feel a godly presence inside you. You feel good!
You feel that you can defend better.
You feel you are more resistant to physical damage.
You feel you are more resistant to magic.
You feel you are more resistant to fire.
You now heal faster.
You feel more proficient in Remove scar.
The ball stops at black 26.

wtf? remove scar?! Quick! ask me for surgeories!

You receive 54000 coins on '23'

You receive 360000 coins on '23'

You receive 90000 coins on '23'

You receive 270000 coins on '3'

You receive 198000 coins on '33'

Dear Fast Food Workers of America part 2
Food Preparers:

You have the shittiest of all the positions. You work around a 375 degree
grills and 500 degree oil vats, so youre at constant risk of burning your
tender, acne-riddled flesh. You stink from sweat and grease-fumes, and youre
legally required to put an oil trap in your shower to uphold Clean-Water
statutes. When things are slow..you sweep and mop and wash dishes. When things
are busy, frantic managers insert themselves randomly in your make-line and
fuck your system up.

You have the least chance of getting laid.

Yours is the easiest to fix. Dont overstock the meat-bin when its slow, dont
pull meat early when its busy, dont let shit burn in the fryers. Keep the
areas the customer can see clean(ish). Salt the fries and keep them fresh.
Nobody, NOBODY likes cold, unsalted fries. Mark the damn special orders, noone
likes digging through 4 cheeseburgers trying to find the one that doesnt have
mustard.

Would you pay $6 for a sloppy, ketchup smeared quarter pounder meal with
unmelted cheese because the meats gone rubbery, dry, and cold, and fries that
are stale and cold? Six bucks is about an hours worth of your labor. Think
about it, does that seem balanced? An hours worth of work in the kitchen for a
shitty meal?
Lastly, PAY ATTENTION TO THE ORDERS. Because if the order takers have done
their job, then YOU  are now the next in the chain in ensuring people get what
they pay for.

Expiditers(food hander-outers):

Youre the last in line. If theres been a wait due to an unexpected rush or
being short-handed, you recieve the brunt of the customers frustration.
Customers will change their mind about drinks after youve already made them,
then spill them trying to get them into their car and ask for a replacement.
Theyll decide to add an ice cream cone to their order after theyve already
payed. Theyll drive off  with only half their order even after you told them
to hang on while I get your fries, and think that YOURE the retard when they
get halfway home and have to turn around.

At some point, in the drive-thru, a creepy old guy will arrive, sans pants or
skivvies. His junk will be fully exposed, and hell expect service.

Just like the order taker, repeat the order back before you hand things out.
Look in the bags when you do it, not the receipt, to ensure 100% accuracy. If
its anything that requires sauce..offer sauce. Ask if they want ketchup, dont
just assume. I hate ketchup, and I hate waste.
Before you hand out a drink, put a straw in your hand. Then, with the same
hand holding the straw, grab the drink and offer them both to the customer.
This way, you NEVER FORGET THE STRAW. Jumping Jesus, I hate getting halfway
down the road and realizing theres no goddamn straw in my bag. When that
happens, Im left with two choices...go back, go inside, and get a straw
myself, or empty out half the drink so i can take the lid off without fear of
the soda slopping everywhere as I bounce down the road.
For gods sake, put a decent amount of napkins in the bag. One napkin per value
meal is a direct insult to my person.

Managers:

Oh, I could go on and on about your hardships. Ill stick to the basic ones
tho.
Getting a pack of disrespectful, hyperactive teenagers to do your bidding is
like herding cats, and the waste%, labor% numbers that your corporation came
up with as goal numbers works out about like communism...the system looks
great on paper, but once the human element is added, it gets ten kinds of
fucked-up.

Managers, you are your own worst enemy. You hire douche-bags. Look, during the
application and interviewing stage of hiring someone, I can understand a stray
shit-heel or two sliding in under the radar. Youre human, and mistakes happen.
But once they start working for you, and they start fucking up orders and
untucking their shirts and answering their cell phones during the rush, you
have two options. 1)Bludgeon them into submission to the policies they agreed
to uphold or 2) T E R M I N A T E.
If a kid had potential, but lacked discipline, Id try to bludgeon them. If
they should be a candidate for a post-birth abortion, Id start the termination
process.(write-ups, suspensions, then YOURE FIRED!!!)
You cant have good employees if youre roster is full of retards.
Worse case scenario is you get shorthanded after your termination spree...but
youve got competent employees getting orders right, serving up quality food,
and even though its taking longer to get the orders out, the order takers and
expediters are kindly explaining that they are sorry but that there will be a
bit of a wait. If people know, before they place their order, that things
might take a little longer than usual, theyre not nearly as likely to get
pissed and complain.

Its simple kids. If you cant take pride in your work or dont want to do WHAT
YOURE PAID TO FUCKING DO, then find a new job.
Its not my fault you have a shitty job. Dont take it out on me. I just want a
goddamn hamburger.

th

Dear Fast Food Workers of America...
Your job sucks.
This is coming from somebody with 3 years of McHell under his belt...two years
as crew and one as management(fast-track to salary!), and another year of
managing a Dominos.

So I repeat, your job sucks...hard.

Youre under-payed, over-worked,and under-appreciated.  Only your grandmother
is remotely impressed that you have a job slinging burgers.
Lets not forget the customers, the single worst thing about your minimum wage
hellhole.

Theyre loud, stupid, rude, and have children that are even worse. They let
their kids become destructive tornados, little tazmanian devils that sling
ketchup and barbeque sauce. Customers piss all over the bathroom(men), or
leave shreds of toilet paper and tampon bits all over the place(women), and
BOTH sexes are guilty of plugging the toilets with their massive turds.
They lack compassion and understanding. Theyre the assholes that make what
would otherwise be a mildly annoying job into a migraine.
I could go on and on with pages of horrible customer stories, but were not
here to talk about them. No child, were here to talk about you. You, who gets
paid to eat shit and like it, are failing miserably, and its going to come
back to haunt you.

It all comes down to a couple of really simple principals. Youre grandpa,
maybe even your dad will understand what Im talking about here. Taking pride
in your work is one, and DOING WHAT YOURE PAID TO FUCKING DO is the other.

Taking pride in your work is a tough one.  The key isnt to try to take pride
in your position or your place of employment, because as weve already
discussed, your job sucks. Its about taking pride in the fact that regardless
of the situation, that you do solid work. That you can be depended on. Its
thinking Damn Im good! after you work through the rush. Thats pride in your
ability to work, and it makes shit jobs much easier to tolerate. Learn it now,
and it will stick with you through the years.

That brings you to the second point, DOING WHAT YOURE PAID TO FUCKING DO. This
is the easiest way to justify doing whats required of you, because its simple
and layed out for you at your hiring. This company is giving you their money
to do this job, and this job has procedures and check-lists for anything that
you do, all covered at orientation and training. If you dont like the
procedure...fuck off and find a different job.
And whats the biggest thing these companies preach?  Customer service. Because
no customers equals no money and no job for you.
I eat a lot of fast food, and I can honestly say that customer service has
taken a nose-dive into Shitville. The few times Ive gone into a fast-food
joint lately and recieved decent customer service was like finding a $20 bill
in my jacket pocket at the start of winter. It made my day.
So heres a tutorial, a guide from a guy with experience, on how things are
actually supposed to be in your store, because youre a teenage punk and noones
set you straight yet.

Appearance:
You have a uniform. Keep it clean and unwrinkled. Keep your goddamn hat on
straight, your goddamn pants belted up and on your hips(not halfway down your
ass), and your goddamn shirt tucked in.  If you want to express yourself
through fashion, do it on your own time fuckhead.

Order Takers:

You guys are the first thing that greet us when we walk in or drive-thru. You
have the thrill of dealing face-to-face with the worst humanity has to offer
you. You also get the thrill of listening to complaints and passing them up to
you manager. Girls, youre oggled and hit on by men of all ages, and its a
little creepy. Boys, you will eventually get to take some douches order from
school, where they will beg you for free shit and mock you later for it. And
you also get hit on by men of all ages and its really creepy.

When you take an order, a little nice in your voice is all thats needed. To be
honest, an over-the-top greeting and prozac smile creep me out a bit, but they
sure as hell beat an annoyed Whatchoo want? and a bored face. Speak clearly
and dont use slang.  Using slang is like hitting yourself in the head with a
hammer...the more you do it, the more retarded you become. 

If someone pulls into the drive-thru and you cant immediately take their
order, tell them politely to hold-on. I dont like wondering if i tripped the
bell, or if the speaker works.

Dont ask me for my order unless youre fully prepared to take my goddamn order,
because I HATE repeating myself for no good reason. This if for you drive-thru
assholes. If you cant give change and take an order at the same time, then
stop fucking trying. You cant multi-task. Theres no shame in working inside
your limitations.
Do you want to know what I (and most of your customers) think when theres a 30
second pause after we tell you our order and were then asked "What did you
want?" again?
We think "Gee, it sure is nice that they hire the mentally handicapped to help
out around the store, but is the drive-thru the best spot for a retard?"

Repeat my order back to me. Hey, I understand that your headset is shitty and
I still have my hangover voice on, so by all means, verify that you were able
to translate my croakings into something intelligible. Its the first step in
ensuring that my order is correct.  Itll make me happy(which falls under DOING
WHAT YOURE PAID TO FUCKING DO), and it takes you out of the responsibility
loop if my order gets messed up down the line.

68: Clara, the cute cow

don't be mad zard...i just had to do it.

Session summary:
Time: 14 hours 13 minutes 46 seconds
Experience gained: 496703
Experience lost: 0
Experience spent: 544246
Gold difference: +76178.00
New areas explored: 0
Battle skill summary:
 Hits: 5493 Misses: 1499 Parries: 0 Ripostes: 0 Stuns: 28
 Criticals: 175 Dodges: 365 Tumbles: 494 Stunned Maneuvers: 1

more solo cash.

Session summary:
Time: 16 hours 8 minutes 11 seconds
Experience gained: 456283
Experience lost: 0
Experience spent: 448963
Gold difference: +33259.00
New areas explored: 37
Battle skill summary:
 Hits: 2782 Misses: 854 Parries: 0 Ripostes: 0 Stuns: 7
 Criticals: 88 Dodges: 200 Tumbles: 239 Stunned Maneuvers: 1

more soloooo, but not as much as yesterdays.

Session summary:
Time: 14 hours 55 minutes 21 seconds
Experience gained: 963008
Experience lost: 0
Experience spent: 1023706
Gold difference: +50096.00
New areas explored: 8
Battle skill summary:
 Hits: 5327 Misses: 1806 Parries: 0 Ripostes: 0 Stuns: 18
 Criticals: 184 Dodges: 479 Tumbles: 521 Stunned Maneuvers: 0

Soloooooo!

6283: Darkki Mustasurma the Clone

1670: Byleth the Clone

I'm back, more or less. Trying this Tzarakk guild out...pretty sweet so far.
Would rather be wielding an axe from the back of my viscous undead steed, but
you take what you can get. **

You check out the top archers of BatMUD.
>>======|> Archer Top Ten <|======<<
1: Thorfinn <3 points>

archers! testing! huzzah!

(08:19) Nazrix tells you 'you don't get bit by mosquitos through leather
gloves you
 moron' (Fri Jun 08 03:24:45 2007)
(08:19) Nazrix tells you 'In 50 years of life and travels to fucking South
American
 (which is much more hardcore than your shitty trash poverty state) you don't
 get bit by mosquitos in the way you describe. Also, do you have no concept of
 plate armor? IT IS AIRTIGHT DUE TO IT BEING A FUCKING PLATE. Look at a dude
in
 a suit of armor, full plate armor, it's a suit that overlaps, there is no
room
 for mosquitos. And how do you get bit through goggles? "offers no protection"
 yes, wearing clothes in completely useless? No, you're retarded and are
 confusing the flea bites you get from your shitty swamp-home with mosquito
 bites, and unless you go out murdering, nobody in louisina wears a fucking
 scarf.' (Fri Jun 08 03:27:04 2007)**

You tell Nazrix (offline) 'You're right. Plate armour is airtight. That's why
 you can dive in it. I saw a special on medieval deep sea divers, I just
 totally forgot about it until just now. But they had to have specially fitted
 helmets with high pressure glass over they eye slits, which was not standard
 issue. So yes, if you have an air tight helmet with glass over the eye slits,
 I can see how a mosquito would have trouble getting in. Oh..and they had to
 caulk the joints of their armour also, to keep air from seeping out.
Honestly,
 that was my mistake.'
Hp:608/608 Sp:462/462 Ep:289/289 >You tell Nazrix (offline) 'what the duece
was that rant about, anyway? I mean
 really, attacking my intelligence AND my state because you put up a push-over
 argument on news and I was one of several to shoot it down? Grow up.'

Gothe shouts 'I fart in your general direction, Pancake!'
Ghost of Pancake tells you 'exp is overated'

fuck it. i'll reinc when i damn well please. i'm a merch now. might stick in
it for a while. might not.

Experience gained: 885187

ran a legion+ twiddle in the drow tower for the first half of that block, then
nikana ran a nice bit for the second half. made another squire level. only 12
left until...Beastmaster Levels!!! Huzzah!

60M totals now. Boring...but much faster rate than my more interesting
sabre/rune/civmage reinc. Just taking levels for squires, then...BEASTMASTERS!!
! muah.

Your battle sense is at its peak!  Time seems to slow down, your enemy seems
pitiful!
You quickly pound your enemy 3 crushing blows to the head, before it can
react!
Skeleton is stunned!
...And you turn suddenly and STRIKE again.

Realized that I picked a shitty reinc to stick with...exp was just not
happening. So I'm now going full barb. debating on ss levels,or
squire/beastmaster. gimme input.

Total of 54296036 experience spent on character.
slooowly soloing my way to being useful in a party. just another 15M or so (2
or 3 months at this rate, thanks to insane work schedule) and i'll start
running smallish exp parties. 50M after that...and it's on to the big things.
I've settled on not maxing runemage (satyr skillmax makes it pointless to
anyway), and taking civmage for the rest of the levels. That will give me the
masteries at a doable level(70% or so) and the ability to use all topend mage
blasts without the use of reagents. Oh, and I've made a solemn vow to win a
bloodbath by the end of the year. I've already got a pretty good plan on how
to make it work. muah.

Experience gained: 830019
,-----------------------------------------------------------------------------.
| Party Name: xoop                         (Members:  5) | Exp Tot:   2000575
|
| Created: Sun Apr 01 05:15:29 2007        ( 2h  9m 13s) | Exp/min:     15389
|
|========================================================|====================|
| Place  Name      Status      HP         SP        EP   | Lvl |   Experience
|
|========================================================|=====|==============|
| 1.2   Bazil         ldr  847( 847)  393( 393) 312(312) |  62 |       494902
|
|*1.3   Zaph          fol 1044(1044)   29(  29) 337(337) |  51 |       392938
|
| ?.?   Ewige         mbr  490( 490)  810(1013) 231(231) |  65 |       313948
|
| ?.?   Thorfinn      mbr  727( 727)  442( 442) 394(394) |  56 |       422450
|
| ?.?   Axl           mbr  581( 581) 1402(1460) 233(233) |  91 |       376337
|
`-----------------------------------------------------------------------------'

started out me and zaph, bazil tagged in and took over and called some friends
in. We owned votk. Good day. Trained last point of str, so it's time to start
leveling.

Experience gained: 572513
solo fun!

That does it. I, Thorfinn Skullsplitter, do solemnly swear to not reinc until
I've reached level 100. I have 29 more levels to dump into runemage, then the
rest will go into bard. Maybe SS. It will be a long, ugly road, but by the
Batgods, I shall persevere.
So there.
I mean it this time.
All the way to 100.

So I'm up to 50M now, almost done training strength statmax..7 pts left, bout
1.2M or so exp. Then it's another 2M into discipline. Then I'll start taking
runemage levels. Probably minmax those...blasts are near useless untill you
have at least 20 levels.

well, i've reinced myself down to a measly 45M or so. Maybe, just maybe, I'll
stay in this one long enough to actually GAIN exp. Heh, maybe.

Session summary:
Time: 8 hours 29 minutes 50 seconds
Experience gained: 744393
Experience lost: 0
Experience spent: 0
Gold difference: +13434.00
New areas explored: 0
Battle skill summary:
 Hits: 827 Misses: 501 Parries: 1 Ripostes: 0 Stuns: 11
 Criticals: 21 Dodges: 182 Tumbles: 0 Stunned Maneuvers: 3

not a bad day, only about 4 real hours of playing. thanks to nikana for the
assist w/the exp.

killed this bastard in bobs apple orchard. i love turbo pigs :P
13762: A Bloated Pig is lounging in the mud 

Experience gained: 161152
Experience lost: 0
Experience spent: 775492
Gold difference: -3881.00
New areas explored: 5
Battle skill summary:
 Criticals: 13 Dodges: 52 Tumbles: 0 Stunned Maneuvers: 1

ditched Large polar bear for 3 headed chimera...fuckin' a!

Experience gained: 1474674

You give stack of pancakes to Pancake.

3263: Thorfinn Skullsplitter the Clone

Cackling devilishly Mushroom dragon-punches you causing heart tissue to fly
everywhere.
That really HURT!
Mushroom strikes you causing a nasty laceration.
hp: 223 (825) [-471] sp: 491 (491) [] ep: 313 (313) cash: 1365 [] exp: 202234
[]
e