ITB syndrome really sucks ass. No running for me for a while.

Exoskeletal junction at the railroad delayed

Captains log year of the monkey or whatever seems to be 8th March. Legs, back
and shoulders are stiff stiff stiff. Not from mudding or after-effects of
alcohol but from snowboarding. Having fun in the snow... weeheee... Himos
rocks. Street rocks. Pipes rock. And my back feels like it was hit by a rock.
No running today :/

Fuck consensus reality.

Wonder if I could finally get a leave because I'm sick... Well, I'm not sick
_yet_, but taking care of a lady who has fever usually effects that way. Oh,
btw, while I'm still healthy(?), give me party pretty please with sugar on
top.

Come to think of it, there's more depressing shit on my last blog entries, and
I want to forget it since life is good now. So that's why I act here like an
old geezer. Telling shit no one really wants to hear, outdated and out of
breath.

There's some depressing shit going on in the world. I wonder who's
responsible...

Something beautiful...

Joe Millionaire (a reality show on tv): The more you watch it, the more you
lose faith in women and in love.

So, the sledge that was heading for the cliff couldn't be stopped. Or perhaps
it would have been possible, but it didn't happen. But insted of watching it
fall and crash, like I expected, something else happened. It didn't fall but
it took to the sky with air beneath it's wings, taking all the problems and
sorrow away and leaving everything that was good and worth saving. I am happy,
at least for now.

Three years... Good times and bad times both are past now. Was it worth it? I
think yes, but for me it was hard to go on anymore. So it all came to an end.
Disorientation is the only proper word to describe me now. Boredom and
loneliness are good alternatives too. I just don't know what to thing of
anything anymore... God I hope everything turns to better now. For me and for
the one who shared a major part in my life. Nothing is right now.

Leave me be.

Insecurity, indecision, hopelessness, fear, sadness, depression, lack of
understanding, loneliness, pain, despair, emptiness... And still I don't know.
Whether it's lingering or not. Whether it's right or wrong. Is there still
hope? There is love, but is love enough? I thought it would be but I'm not so
sure anymore.

Trying to stop a sledge heading for cliff. But can it be stopped? And is it
even worth stopping. I feel like being too far from it to see if there is
anything inside it anymore. Anything worth saving, since the sledge itself is
not worth the effort.

You poured eros maggots down my throat // until I choked // There's nothing
darker than love that's gone sour // Satan's spit // Love that's gone sour...

If you lived with someone you think is the most beautiful woman (or man, for
some of you guys) in the world for a long time, would you still consider her
beautiful? Of course age does it's tricks, but that is not what I mean by this
question. Would you grow a blind spot to her beauty? Or is it possible that
the same person takes your breath away every time you see her? No matter how
long you have known each other.

I just noticed one thing today when coming home from work at 7.30 pm: The
heart of city, especially in autumn, is one of the loneliest places I've ever
been in. Lots of people coming and going and minding their own business
somehow emphasises the feeling of being alone. Imagine yourself standing in
the middle of city, doing nothing when everyone just walks past you, everyone
else has company and good-time but you. Yes, you are utterly alone.

Why does life seem to be just playing new xbox games, mudding at work and
watching anime in the mornings? I mean, it's not that bad to mud during work,
because then I am not neglecting people I care for.. But these weekends when
there's nothing else to do but play games until some friend or even girlfriend
calls and then I feel a bit more alive for a while.

And when they leave there's nothing left here except to play games and watch
movies... Please please please rain snow some day soon so I can go
snowboarding. Until then, I guess I'll play Amped or something...

Got my reinc finally finished, so ask for exp if I'm online. No eq parties yet
since I inflated a little and need to train some skills to max before I care
to try bigger monsters.

Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic rocks. The first game after Shenmue II
on xbox that just makes it hard to stop playing. So you won't probably see me
here unless I am at work =)

Well now I reinced.. Still missing at least one lq before I can finish taking
levels. Plan is to make 89lvl monktarm. I hope it will turn out to be nice
exp-reinc. I intend to mud mostly from work now on.

Feeling a little better now. I am still planning reinc and came to the
conclusion that there are a few eq's I'd like to make/buy before I reinc. So
if you read this and have these with my name for sale, then contact me: toms
coat, dam brooch, hera neck, dodge kilt/akira legs, hunters/emerald rings,
toms boots.

Got flue, headache and sore throat... I quit work early but still have to go
there tomorrow. We need to install new computers and with haste since the new
department is supposed to open next monday, three months behind schedule. I
playerd SW: KotOR for four hours lying on bed. Magnificent game.

Let's see if this is of any other use than providing bs for people while they
regen... Started community service in Uta (www.uta.fi) yesterday. I seem to
have so much free time there in computer assistance group that I already
managed to install mIRC and mudclient in my computer... Now planning on
solo-exp reinc.