The moon conspiracy revealed!


It amazes me that so many allegedly "educated" people have fallen so quickly
and so hard for a fraudulent fabrication of such laughable proportions. The
very idea that a gigantic ball of rock happens to orbit our planet, showing
itself in neat, four-week cycles -- with the same side facing us all the time
-- is ludicrous. Furthermore, it is an insult to common sense and a damnable
affront to intellectual honesty and integrity. That people actually believe it
is evidence that the liberals have wrested the last vestiges of control of our
public school system from decent, God-fearing Americans (as if any further
evidence was needed! Daddy's Roommate? God Almighty!)

Documentaries such as Enemy of the State have accurately portrayed the
elaborate, byzantine network of surveillance satellites that the liberals have
sent into space to spy on law-abiding Americans. Equipped with technology
developed by Handgun Control, Inc., these satellites have the ability to
detect firearms from hundreds of kilometers up. That's right, neighbors .. the
next time you're out in the backyard exercising your Second Amendment rights,
the liberals will see it! These satellites are sensitive enough to tell the
difference between a Colt .45 and a .38 Special! And when they detect you with
a firearm, their computers cross-reference the address to figure out your
name, and then an enormous database housed at Berkeley is updated with
information about you.

Of course, this all works fine during the day, but what about at night? Even
the liberals can't control the rotation of the Earth to prevent nightfall from
setting in (only Joshua was able to ask for that particular favor!) That's
where the "moon" comes in. Powered by nuclear reactors, the "moon" is nothing
more than an enormous balloon, emitting trillions of candlepower of
gun-revealing light. Piloted by key members of the liberal community, the
"moon" is strategically moved across the country, pointing out those who dare
to make use of their God-given rights at night!

Yes, I know this probably sounds paranoid and preposterous, but consider this.
Despite what the revisionist historians tell you, there is no mention of the
"moon" anywhere in literature or historical documents -- anywhere -- before
1950. That is when it was initially launched. When President Josef Kennedy, at
the State of the Union address, proclaimed "We choose to go to the moon", he
may as well have said "We choose to go to the weather balloon." The subsequent
faking of a "moon" landing on national TV was the first step in a long history
of the erosion of our constitutional rights by leftists in this country. No
longer can we hide from our government when the sun goes down.