Fear.  I don't fear death.  I don't fear personal injury.  I don't fear public
speaking.  I fear loss.
When it seems that loss of something or somebody important is imminent I
become a wreck.
Fear.  It distracts me, prevents me from focusing on things not directly
related to the source of the fear.
These days, I am in turmoil.  I get so scared.  But I work through it, often
alone but with support on occasion.
When the deep fear passes I can pretend to be normal again.  I am not a good
pretender.  Surely, people must know that something has changed.
Fear.  It makes me feel helpless, and alone.  Why am I so afraid?  I don't
want to lose her.  I can't imagine happiness without her.
I can't lose her, for she is not mine.
I want her, but she is out of reach.
Why?  Why do I desire her so?