Who wants ribs?

********************** Round 1 **********************
You score a *CRITICAL* hit!

Cackling devilishly you CRUELLY TIGER STRIKE Warthog ripping out a still
beating
heart.

You elbow-smash Warthog ripping out a still beating heart.
Warthog successfully parries your bludgeon.
Warthog successfully dodges your futile bite.
Warthog thumps you causing a small scratch.
Warthog tastes you causing a small scratch.
You try to dodge, but Warthog is not fooled.
Warthog bumps you making small marks.

Warthog is near death (5%).

Your first tentacle strikes Warthog causing garroting.
You gain insight to warhorse philosophy!
Warthog stops existing in this reality.
Warthog is DEAD, R.I.P.