After multiple questions to write more (ok it was only You Juo). Im writing..
it's a bit difficult I used to write a lot about what I have been doing in mud
during the day... and nowadays that's no longer allowed, cause You evil
mortals could sneak and read the ramblings of a mab man like me and find out
about all my conning plans. Am feeling totally zombie like. Had early early
early shift and only had 3 h sleep before that. I then slept abnother 4 h or
so. Had some fecking nightmares ... I was in the uniform department of my
airline (where I really have been today) and some evil doer came in and
started a massacre.... I wasn't hit by a bullet, but covered myself with the
corpse of someone who was shot there.. all in all a rather displeasing dream.
Rather disapointed by a friend in mud. Since I know myself, I also know that
my anger will subside... Trying to analyse why I am so pissed at him. Shrug.
Elsewise life is shitty like always. I really like creating. It's a bit like
putting my imagination into a form. Coding gets better and better though my
skills still are not sufficent for all the things I want to do. RL still is
static. Somehow sad that there is no realmovement in my life... or is there
and I just don't see the positive elements? Sometimes I feel like fleeing and
funny thing is I don't know from what or where to. I'm just a worrying dog
sometimes. Love life is still zero, nada, non existent. I would have a
possible thing coming up... but it would be a long distance partnership and I
am not sure whether that really does make any sense. pondering pondering. And
why the hell do i write this anyway... not that I am an exhibitionist or
something.. but maybe I should keep my rl a bit more out of here.. after all I
don't want my fluffy friends to think I am even more of a weirdo than they
already do. Tomorrow another early early early shift... sigh. And a tight fit
in the week when I thought about flying to the states... flights are full as
well... maybe i should just crawl back into my bed. BLAH!