what a day. Lost a rl fight bout love or so it seems... atm feeling quite
empty again about it. Woke up being called by my mum who told me that my dad
crashed his car. Luckily no one is hurt but the repair will cost quite a bit.
Still pondering why it seems that I am doomed to always end up in super
complicated relationships in which I'm not even sure whether they actually ARE
relationships. I guess it gets easier with the time.. but it's not a pretty
state and I fear that one day I will be too cold to start anything cause I
fear that it ends like all the other things.

Blah. Also pondered about going to Campcon after all though it would mean that
I would be basically away whole June cause I definitely will go to Kuopiocon
and want to stay in Finland for Juhannus as well. Well I will see. Would mean
rearranging my work shifts and stuff and I'm not even sure whether I would get
the OK from my bosses for that.

Finished another subarea. Now contributed 6 to our area and i think this will
be it. Did some fine tuning and more tweaking as well as debugging of other
code as well. Blah still with the first topic somehow. How can it be that by
now I have more friends in Finland than in Germany. Sigh I guess the cheap
travelling is a negative point as well... I really neglect my rl here and
somehow only live for all the travelling I do. Atm it looks as if I'll be in
Helsinki middle of may and then campcon if I decide to go then home and
Finland again.... I should mov there after all. Atm I also have this far away
plan that I might start doing something for my studies again afterwards i can
still decide whether I will spent some time abroad or not. Who knows.... after
all an M.A. title does sound nice. Fuck this... someone fix my rl for me.