Help: Durand is mean
DURAND AND PIGLET CONQUER THE GREAT NORTHERN PEAK
A story how two friends, Durand and Piglet, decided to conquer the great
northern peak and how Piglet meets an accidental death during the voyage.
Everything was rather quiet in the hundred acre wood. The trees whispered
to each other as the wind rustled their leaves. The day was sunny and warm
and was the most perfect day to make heroic deeds that would be remembered
later on. And maybe even worth a small song, thought Durand.
Piglet had wondered why Durand had not called for him that morning, to have
his tea and biscuits, and so he decided to visit Durand instead. He admired the
morning sun and listened the birds singing.
When Piglet finally arrived at Durand's house, there came a steady bang...
bang...bang! Durand was nailing a note to his door, saying "OWT CONUERING
THE NURTHPEAK" (spelling had never been one of the Durand's strong points).
Durand asked Piglet to join him to the adventure he would later on make a song
or maybe two. To conquer the great northern peak. Piglet gladly accepted and
raced home to get something to eat for the trip.
The two friends started their voyage by heading towards the rock mountains
shimmering darkblue in the distance. They playfully raced around pines and
small flowers. Durand was now and then scratching Piglet's ears, and hummed
a small song he invented just moments ago "bouncy bouncy, fun fun fun, the
wonderful..." (and there he started it again, as the adventure was just about
They passed Osir's castle (wise duck living in a tree south of the hundred
acre wood) and Piglet noticed a small letter nailed to the door.
"IAM NUT HOME" said Piglet scratching his forehead, wondering if that made
him look like wiser or if it was a Bad Idea and if he really read the Wise Text
correctly. Durand nodded, and also secretly wanted Piglet to see that he also
could read. "Osir is propably at Layla's house" boggled Durand and suddenly
kicked poor Piglet on his bottom for not realizing such a fact and for reading
the sign before he could. "This will serve that manic depressive donkey right"
laughed Durand aloud, "always cheating at Durand-sticks, cheats never
prosper", Durand said to himself. As Piglet is a Small Animal he fell down on
his face on the rocks and hurt his arm pretty badly. "Ouch!" yelled Durand and
offered his hand to pull Piglet up. The two friends continued walking calmly
towards the mountains.
At the time of midday Durand felt a familiar feeling on the bottom of his
belly. He had taken two-and-half, or at least two, cans of jam made by
Layla with him, but alas had they already disappeared into his stomach during
the early morning hours. And now he felt like he could eat some more of that
Specially Delicious jam. Piglet unwrapped a small package of egg-anchovies
sandwiches he made just this morning for this special event and sat on a
small stub smiling happily.
"Look!" yelled Durand pointing the top of a green pine growing just nearby.
Piglet yelped and looked hastily into the pine Durand pointed, fearing that
an Heffalumps might attack. Then he remembered that heffalumps can't fly and
calmed down a bit but was still wondering that what if there really were
flying heffalumps. At the same time mean Durand stole Piglet's sandwich from
and hid it behind his back.
"Durand..." asked Piglet while wondering his empty hand (before that he
made sure that there were no heffalumps behind the tree and that the sandwich
didn't drop to the ground or any place possible where heffalumps would find it
easily) "Where is my sandwich?". Mouth full of anchovies Durand told Piglet
that a gust of wind had taken the sandwich and carried it to the mountains.
"Hmmm... hmmm..." hummed Piglet and watched the distant mountains and was
almost sure he saw his sandwich wrapping somewhere there. Durand hummed a
tuneless song, resting on his back, while the sun warmed his yellow hide
"Puuh" gasped Durand with full stomach. "Puuh" he said again. After resting
a short (yet delightful) moment while Piglet was searching for cones (even as
he was a Small Animal he also needed to eat) Durand decided to continue the
conquer adventure. Piglet hadn't finished his meal yet (two fir cones and one
pine cone and little bit of fresh spring water) when Durand kicked Piglet's
bottom causing the little animal to fall over again on his sore arm. Then
Durand took a Very Mean Expression on his face and started heading towards
the mountains again. Piglet followed after him, fearing punishment.
Strain was quite big while the two fellows were climbing upwards. They
passed many flowers and even a small bridge, but they didn't remember to stop
and admire the sights. They had little pauses and wondered if mountain trolls
had any pauses or if the mountain peaks had any pauses. Durand was sure
mountain peaks had many pauses and so they could also have pauses (after that
he had one immediately) and Piglet nodded knowingly (still remembering his
A tiny little ladybug flew around, first sat on a small stone, then
continued to Piglet's shoulder. "Look!" shouted Piglet with a broad smile on
his little face. The ladybug rested on his shoulder and stretched all the
6 legs. Piglet was almost bouncing but then remembered that Tiger once warned
him about the dangers of bouncing. He decided to stay calm.
WHACK! SMACK! was heard and Piglet was thrown into a nearby bushes by the
force of the hits. WHACK! Durand struck again. And again. He struck few times
and started to smile and asked Piglet if he was ok. Piglet said he hasn't
felt better today while rubbing dry blood form his forehead. Durand was happy
as HE beated the Big Insect and thus saved Piglet from who might know what
serious illnesses and diseases. This sure was worth a little song and he
started to hum something as the darkness was slowly crawling to the air,
coloring the evening sky blood red.
Night came as the two friends sat down, enjoying the cooling evening breeze.
"Have you ever wondered what is up there?" Durand asked, pointing the dark
blue sky with his right hand.
The night was dark and clear and stars shone luminent in the sky.
"Stars", sighed Piglet, "They make me feel so very very small. It is not
that I wouldn't be a Very Small Animal in any case, but looking upwards
and seeing all the bright little points is not a Very Pleasing Sight."
"Yes," said Durand thoughtfully. "I understand" and pushed Piglet off the
cliff while smiling and thinking of the adventures he would have next day.
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