I enclose two small deposits, selected with great
care from my cat's litter tray, as an expression of my
utter and complete contempt for both you and your
pointless company. I sincerely hope that they have not
become desiccated during transit -- they were
satisfyingly moist at the time of posting, and I would
feel considerable disappointment if you did not
experience both their rich aroma and delicate texture.
Consider them the very embodiment of my feelings
towards NTL, and its worthless employees.

Have a nice day. May it be the last in your miserable
short lives, you irritatingly incompetent and
infuriatingly unhelpful bunch of tw*ts..