To my beloved wife:
During the past year, I had tried 365 times to make love to you, of which only
36 times I succeeded, for the following reasons:
54 times the sheets were too clean
17 times it was already too late
49 times you were too tired
20 times it was too hot for you
15 times you pretended to be asleep
22 times you had headache
17 times you were afraid to wake the kids
16 times you said your whole body was sore
12 times happened to be during 'those days'
19 times you had to wake early
9 times you just didn't feel like it
7 times you had sunburn
6 times you watched a late tv program
5 times you were afraid to mess up your hair
3 times you said we could be overheard
9 times you said we could be overheard by your mother
Of the 36 times that I got what I wanted, the activity was hardly
satisfactory, because 6 times you were just lying there without movement, 8
times you reminded me of police, 4 times you were hurrying me up and asking to
come quickly. Also 7 times I had to wake you up to tell you that I had in fact
already come, and once I was afraid I had caused you pain because I felt you
move.