I took the liberty of translating one very wise fin.bs post into English:
'
When I was 14, I wanted a girlfriend.

When I was 16 I had a girlfriend, but there was something missing.
I wanted a girlfriend who was passionate, horny.

When I was 20, I had a passionate girlfriend, but she was way too
emotional. Everything had to be a great drama and often she threatened
me with a suicide. I wanted a relationship with some balance and
security in it.

When I was 25, I found more balanced girlfriend, but she was boring.
Everything she said or did was predictable. I wanted an exciting
girlfriend.

At 30, I found an exciting girlfriend. She cheated on me continuosly
and wouldn't consider settling down or commitment. I wanted a girlfriend
with ambitions.

At 35, I found a girlfriend with ambitions. She was bright and striving
for success. We got married, divorced and she took all my belongings.

Now that I'm older and wiser, I will find a girlfriend with big boobs.

If I had all the money I'd spent on drink, I'd spend it on drink.
-- Sir Henry Rawlinson