Back in the BBS days, many off-line mail readers gave you the opportunity
to add a bit of digital wit to the end of your communications. The
following were collected over the years.

On a clear disk, you can seek forever.
Back up my hard drive? I can't find the reverse switch.
.eunitnoC oT yeK ynA sserP </:A SI YROTCERID TNERRUC
Behind every successful man is a surprised mother-in-law.
All *.BAT files are found in C:\BELFRY
Sex on the microwave - done in 30 seconds.
I've used all my sick days. I'm calling in DEAD!
It's hard to believe.... I once thought 40 was OLD.
There's nothing to scratch but the surface.
Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
Yer motherboard wears combat reboots.
You can't win, you can't break even, you can't even quit.
That tagline is true----> <----That tagline is false
Please don't type so loud, I have a headache.
This is your brain on BBS's... Any questions?
..Collect call from Earth. Will you accept?
I think, therefore I am, I think......
Bigamy: Too many wives. Monogamy: Same thing.
Removal of this tagline is a violation of Federal Law.
FATAL DISK ERROR: R)etry, F)ail, K)ill this machine
Format C: Kills software bugs dead.
Nothing is so simple that it can't be screwed up.
Please extinguish all smoking materials before landing.
Find out what the kids are doing and tell them to stop.
If not for the last minute, nothing would get done.
OXYMORONS: Free checking account.... marijuana initiative....
Most well trodden paths lead to nowhere.
Hindsight is an exact science.
You don't have to know anything to have an opinion.
Kitty heaven is Mousie hell.
I'm pushing 50; that's exercise enough.
Sorry, I only date within my species.
Learn to waste time conscientiously.
Honesty is the best image. - Ziggy
Too much of a good thing is wonderful - Mae West
There is nothing in the world stronger than gentleness.
Beware of all enterprises that require new clothes.
No I know why some animals eat their young.
Nancy Regan - the first artificial heart donor.
Honk if you're smarter than Dan Quayle.
The world is a banquet... and many of us are starving.
Nymphomania? Yes, well, I can only provide temporary relief.
I'm a self-made man.. Who else would help?
Never underestimate the power of human stupidity.
God love me; Everyone else thinks I'm an ass.