Man, am I so glad to have found this Feedback page. I have wanted to share
this story for sometime about the Greatest Night of My Life. It all began on a
cold night in Washington, D.C. in the mid-1990s. I had just spent several
hours smoking crack with twin lesbian teenage prostitutes. I was just about to
make them both come simultaneously when I remembered that my favorite band in
the world, Spider Monkey, was playing at the 15 Minute Club with my other
favorite band, Slackjaw from Charlottesville, VA. I put on my plastic pants,
filled my pockets with rocks and some Mexican Brown Heroin and took my Vespa
to the club. As I was closing the door, I snuck at peak at the twins - they
were enganged in some mutual, oral lesbian incest (it was just about the
sweatest thing I had even seen, like something out of Normal Rockwell). When I
got to the club, Spider Monkey was throwing a fit because they claimed the
club owner was trying to rip them off and they were refusing to go on. But
when they saw the roomful of fans (actually, friends of the dudes in Slackjaw)
they couldn't resist rocking the motherscratchin' house. When they began to
play, "Spider Monkey's In Da House," I just about ejaculated in my trousers.
They proceeded to rip through one of the most slammin' sets I have ever seen
at 15 Minutes. They really do earn the title, "Clown Princes of Rock." It is a
damn shame that they broke up. If anyone can get me a copy of the Spider
Monkey Theme Song, I would greatly appreciate it. I plan to marry a child
bride pretty soon (technically, she is still my "child fiancee") and I need
some music to play at wedding. Please email at the address above. Thanks for
allowing me this forum to share my story. SpiderMonkeyFlameSquad
<rdio@hotmail.com> Los Angeles, CA USA - Friday, February 02, 2001 at 17:17:09
(EST)