Here are 15 signs that show you're smart:
1. Your forehead is all wrinkled.
2. You learned to talk later than other kids your age, but all your words were
meaningful.
3. You discuss orders.
4. You dump pills into the toilet when nobody is watching.
5. You always warn your wife before your unexpected return.
6. You understand not only Schnitke's music, but also the speech of
Grebenschikov.
7. You not only know the names of every soviet astronaut, but also the names
of each brazilian state and every nigerian port city. There are two of you.
One is you, and the other is the cretin that compiled the crossword in today's
newspaper.
8. You consider it vulgar to get acquainted with young women in libraries. You
prefer to do it on various symposiums.
9. Your girlfriend left you for a huge hairy jamaican, explaining that he
understands her better.
10. Santa Claus, wearing an expression of utter disgust, gives your children
logarithm tables, physics books and other useless crap, like English-Eskimo
dictionaries for Christmas.
11. You think first, and then you are silent.
12. You make holes in several hats every year, especially in the frontal area.
13. The hair underneath your armpits grows in a chessboard pattern.
14. You check your body radiation level at least once a week at a nearby
clinic.
You theoretically know how to wash dishes.