Silea asked me to post this for her because she's a news-virgin:

Three Texas surgeons were arguing as to which had the
greatest skill.

The first began: "Three years ago, I reattached seven
fingers on a pianist. He went on to give a recital for
the Queen of England."

The second replied: "That's nothing. I attended a man
in a car accident. All his arms and legs were severed
from his body. Two years after I reattached them, he
won three gold medals for field events in the Sydney
Olympics."

The third said: "A few years back, I attended to a
cowboy. He was high on cocaine and alcohol when he
rode his horse head-on into a Santa Fe freight train
traveling at 100 miles per hour. All I had to work
with was the horse's ass and a ten gallon hat. Two
years ago he became president of the United States"