TWEEZERS: A tool for removing wood splinters.

PHONE: Tool for calling your neighbor to see if he has another hydraulic
floor jack.

Snap-On GASKET SCRAPER: Theoretically useful as a sandwich tool for
spreading mayonnaise; used mainly for getting dog-doo off your boot.

E-Z OUT BOLT AND STUD EXTRACTOR: A tool that snaps off in bolt holes and
is ten times harder than any known drill bit.

TIMING LIGHT: A stroboscopic instrument for illuminating grease buildup.

TWO TON HYDRAULIC ENGINE HOIST: A handy tool for testing the tensile
strength of ground straps and brake lines you may have forgotten to
disconnect.

CRAFTSMAN 1/2 x 16 INCH SCREWDRIVER: A large motor mount prying tool that
inexplicably has an accurately machined screwdriver tip on the end without
the handle.

BATTERY ELECTROLYTE TESTER: A handy tool for transferring sulfuric acid
from a car battery to the inside of your toolbox after determining that
your battery is dead as a doornail, just as you thought.

AVIATION METAL SNIPS: See hacksaw.

TROUBLE LIGHT: The mechanic's own tanning booth. Sometimes called a drop
light, it is a good source of vitamin D, 'the sunshine vitamin,' which is
not otherwise found under tractors at night. Health benefits aside, its
main purpose is to consume 40 watt light bulbs at about the same rate that
105 mm howitzer shells might be used during, say, the first few hours of
the Battle of the Bulge. More often dark than light, its name is somewhat
misleading.

PHILLIPS SCREWDRIVER: Normally used to stab the lids of old style
paper-and-tin oil cans and splash oil on your shirt; can also be used, as
the name implies, to round off Phillips screw heads.

AIR COMPRESSOR: A machine that takes energy produced in a coal burning
power plant 200 miles away and transforms it into compressed air that
travels by hose to a Chicago Pneumatic impact wrench that grips rusty
bolts last tightened 60 years ago by someone in Dearborn, and rounds them
off.

PRY BAR: A tool used to crumple the metal surrounding that clip or
bracket you needed to remove in order to replace a 50 cent part.

HOSE CUTTER: A tool used to cut hoses 1/2 inch too short.