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BatMUD Forums > Bs > European english (maybe old?)

 
 
#1
08 May 2003 11:44
 
 
Enjoy your English while you can...

The European Commission has just announced an
agreement whereby English will be the official
language of the European Union rather than German,
which was the other possibility. As part of the
negotiations, Her Majesty's Government conceded that
English spelling had some room for improvement and
has accepted a 5-year phase-in plan that would become
known as "Euro-English".

In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c".
Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy.

The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This
should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have
one less letter.

There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the
sekond year when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced
with "f". This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter.

In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new
spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more
komplikated changes are possible. Governments will
enkourage the removal of double letters which have
always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al
wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the
languag is disgrasful and it should go away.

By the 4th yer peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such
as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v".

During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd
from vords kontaining "ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve
vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor
trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu
understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil
finali kum tru.

If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl.

Zen ve vil rul ze vorld!!

 
 
 
Malar
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