When you're tired, you often get a little distracted. I also find myself often
thinking in English when I'm thinking of BatMUD stuff. That especially seems
to happen when I'm trying to think of good names for different concepts I'm
planning. The part about English isn't really yet part of my story, but
soon you realize why this is important to mention.

There's this place called Salsa Orkidea, which is one of my favourite places
in my home town. It's a restaurant and I really like the place because the
food is good and the prices are alright. I especially like their hot Mexican
pasta, because it's not too spicy, but spicy enough so I really like its
taste. Like quite often before, I decided to take the hot Mexican pasta.

Every meal in Salsa Orkidea includes a free salad table, so I went to get
a plate of salad and came back to eat that before my main course would
arrive. After finishing the salad, I put the plate, the fork and the
knife on the side. I was watching pedestrians walking past the window and
the waitress collected my plate and the cutlery away without me really
noticing. I thought that's not a big deal, I can just get a new fork and
a new knife. Now here's where the story gets interesting.

I went to get new cutlery, but they were out of knives. So I took a fork,
or actually two by accident and dropped the other one, but that's not
a significant fact in this story. I thought that they will probably bring
more knives in just a second. Well, they didn't. It wouldn't be much to
ask for them to bring more knives, but the place looked much busier
than before so I thought I'm not going to bother with my petty knife issues.
I'm kind of like Attila the Hun. His guests ate from silver platters
while he himself was modest and always ate from a wooden one. I've always
admired that kind of leadership. I think it's respectable to lead by
example and even though you have a lot of power and influence, it takes
a wise man not to become power stuck and exercise it in futility. It's
kind of like dating Olivia Wilde or some other hot woman and not even
sleeping with her! Actually, that makes Attila sound a little bit stupid
so maybe I should find better idols, like those who then used their power,
like perhaps..umm..Hitler or Stalin? Never mind, it's beside the point!

After a few minutes of waiting, my hot Mexican pasta arrives. Still no
knives in sight. I could have mentioned it now while the waiter came with
my meal, but those who have been eating hot Mexican pasta know that the
meal comes with a spoon, at least in Salsa Orkidea. I actually have no idea
what the spoon really is for and I usually just place that on my salad
plate and eat with a fork and a knife. This time I didn't even have my
salad plate, because like I said, the waitress had taken it away.

This time I had a use for a spoon, since I didn't have a knife. There I
was eating my pasta with a fork in my left hand and a spoon in my right
hand. It felt a little bit silly and I was wondering if people were
looking at me like "What is that guy doing over there?"

While still trying to think of BatMUD stuff in English, I was getting
a little bit sidetracked with the whole fork and spoon thing. I was
suddenly getting this strange mental image of Paul Hogan, the guy
who played Crocodile Dundee, walking through the door, pointing at my
spoon, pulling his knife and teaching me about proper eating etiquette
by saying in his Down Under accent "That's not a knife, this is a
knife!", like he used to say in the movies.

Getting even more sidetracked, I now start thinking of stupid puns about
knives thinking some woman without a ring and another one with one and
Paul Hogan commenting "That's not a wife, this is a wife!". Talks of
rings also bring back memories of a certain imaginary dexterity ring,
but that's a completely separate story. Now desperately trying to
find another pun, I'm searching for words that rhyme with knife and
besides that wife, I only come up with one: life, which I apparently
don't have. As I'm done with knives, I'm trying to proceed into thinking
puns about forks, even though it doesn't make any sense, at least if you
want to keep Paul Hogan somehow involved. The fact doesn't stop me
from exploring forks, so I somehow think that Falk almost sounds like
a fork and remember there are a few Columbo movies I haven't seen. Peter
Falk was also in "The In-laws". I remember reading some IMDB trivia
that Peter Falk once was asked to form a sentence in some talk show by using
his last name in a sentence, to which he promptly replied "Falk you!"

As I moved forward thinking about cutlery, for a brief moment I was wondering
if the word cutlery would have anything to do with cutlass; a notion which
I was quick to abandon, but which still haunts me probably without a reason.
Now thinking of words rhyming with spoon, I'm thinking of Platoon and wonder
how sad is this. It reminds me of the movie and I'm finally abandoning
cutlery and now picking up random things like "General Patton", a loose link
to war through Platoon, and return to thinking that Patton Oswalt was very
funny on Conan's show.

At this point, I think it's obvious I was no longer thinking of anything
BatMUD related. On my way back home, I was just wondering that if hot
Mexican pasta would be spaghetti instead of penne pasta, would that
spaghetti through spaghetticode have been my segway returning back to
thinking of BatMUD stuff.