A burly adventurer is drinking in a bar at a jungle outpost, when in stumbles
an obviously drunk, dirty, half-naked man. The half-naked drunk man mumbles
for a drink, and says to the barkeep, "Boy, Murphy, your Whiskey is the best
stuff on the planet! When I drink this stuff, it makes me strong enough to
wrestle a Gorilla to sumbishum..err, sumbis... submission!"

"Get out of here, drunken fool!" The burly adventurer says. "No one can
wrestle an ape to submission, and certainly not while drunk."

Surely just then, a thundering noise from outside erupts, as an Ape has broken
through fortifications and is terrorizing the populace outside. The Burly man
draws his weapon, but the drunken fool says, *GLUGGLUGGLUG* "No wait, let me
handle it!" And amazingly, the crowd watches through the doors as he stumbles
outside, gives the massive gorilla a noogie, and wrestles it to the ground.

"That's impossible!" Burly says. He grabs a bottle of whiskey from Murphy,
drinks the whole bottle in one slam, and lurches forward to give the ape his
own piece of what-for. The man is beaten senseless by the ape, slung over his
shoulder, and taken back to the jungle forest.

The Drunk fool saunters in without the least trace of drunkenness, takes
Burly's spot and wallet from the table, and orders another round.

Murphy chuckles under his breath and says, "Tarzan, you are one crazy
mother...."