Hello pals and gals!


Regen shit reading from me to your eyes only:

During my latest nocturnal star trek to the planet Xitihsenut I visited a good
alien friend of mine, a half catfish-dogshit like being who doesn\'t want his
name revealed to inferior mortals, and told him about them wizards tuning the
battle system. This is what he had to say:

\"Everyone sucks their own way.\" He grabbed his left ear, which
resembled more like my right testicle, and continued \"And obviously
these people like to suck hard. Wonder if you could get me a private room with
them someday now...\"

I replied the tune was badly needed, since all the players were doing nowadays
was to stun 200k monsters with an alarming rate. Even players with totals less
than 200k exp were stunning 200k monsters with an alarming rate, to which he
said:

\"If I were to maintain a donation-run crappy text game, which I don\'t,
because I like to dominate the members of your race in Worldwar of Craft more,
I\'d focus on spending the donation earnings to buy booze and cheap women, but
then again, this is what your operators seem to be doing anyway.\"

At this point I realized that it really was, in fact, _my_ right testicle he
was grabbing, but I ignored this nonsense and continued explaining how tunes
worked and said that some tunes seem harsh and unfair at first, but they are
thought very carefully and implemented only as needed.

\"Our kind doesn\'t need tunes in anything, but to seduce hot female
members of your race.\" He unzipped something with his left tentacle,
while selecting downloads on his warez client using his right.
\"Imitating horrible male singers who write even more horrible lyrics,
like Peter Steele or Fiona Apple, seems to work the best.\"

I asked wasn\'t it illegal to share and download Jennifer Lopez movies and
Christina Aguilera mp3s without paying for them in Xitihsenut, but he
interrupted me:

\"Could you kneel please, I can\'t hear you well at all from up
there...\" Suddenly, the room was painted blue by something on his huge
plasma screen. \"Aww, goddamn fucking Windows 3253 C3PO! This service
pack R2D2 is fucking crap and surprise, surprise the update center whore
crashes to desktop!\"

I got confused, since I noticed I was, for some reason, without pants now, and
I couldn\'t come up with anything else than \"BatMUD is still a great game
and the community is nice and all... hey pal, isn\'t that a cracked copy of
Windows!?\"

\"Fuck BatMUD!\" He said intensively, starting to glow and grow a
bit. \"Ah, hell, this all is shot to blistering fuck now, my connection
was refused. Fuck this shit. Bend over bitch!\"

I was like \"Wtf dude?!\" but I couldn\'t resist. \"But wizards
know C+ and old jokes...\"

\"I mean now!\" He yelled and I saw something slithering in the haze
of the now pulsating, slimy room. \"Do you feel lucky, punk? Big Daddy\'s
got a surprise for you... and you bet it\'s not a freereinc the fuck out from
tiger guild...\"

No matter how hard I try, I can\'t remember anything more about our meeting,
but when I woke up I was back at my place and I had this strange fever and
rectal bleeding. Something was echoing inside my head too. I\'ll try to
transcript it here:

\"Siht saw sb tsop, ton a noitatneserp fo ym sweiv uoy stoidi\"


::Mingray