Admiral Haxor froze as Codanalyst Dave Bowman rotated the main ship control
program on the IDA XVII holodisassembly deck.
"They've breached us! he said, focusing his intense dark eyes on the ominous
dense purple blobs that had appeared in the library zone." "Could you zoom on
that?"
"Sure, here you go. said Dave as he whisked the disassembly around. That's
even worse in dynamic mode sir. Those creepers are everywhere now, see that
time lapsed holodebugging session?". The old warrior paused for a moment
looking at the alien embassy pod through through the small porthole window. He
had made bad decisions during his Navy career, but being hacked during
mankind's first contact with an ET intelligence was beyond imagination...
Haxor had nerves of steel, he had to react. "Is there any way we can get rid
of that pest, Dave?"
"Well, there's that small neurosemantical script I was playing with the other
day, maybe it could help. But I am not 100% sure, we better test. You know,
those damn things never work first time. Unitialized cortical contexts, poorly
design feedback loops..."
"Hmmm, what are you waiting for, lad? Run your f****** tests and lets kick
this virus out of our control systems".
Bownman adjusted his cap, cleared his throat and slowly turned to the
holodisassembly deck.
"IDA XVII, please emulate version 0.9845b of the retaliation script" he said
loudly.
The holodisassembly branches were now turning dark grey. Except for the purple
cubes glittering in the air, no color was visible anywhere.
"I am sorry Dave, I am afraid I can't do that" came the response.
Dave was sweating. "Pleaaaase"
"May I have your key file ? asked the deck jovially. May I have _YOUR_ KEY
FILE, Dave?"
If Dave hadn't known computer programs don't have emotions, he could have
sworn IDA XVII was laughing heartily. He collapsed on his desk, crying. He was
so sure he had nailed the last check the other day!
Haxor was flabbergasted. "What's going on here!?"
"I am a demo version Sir, risked the computer, just a small powerless demo
version... well, at least that's what he claims I am"
<...>
The ship's computer shut down when the pod made contact. The USS Buffer
Overflow had, for all practical matters, been virtually boarded. Then came the
first ET contact. And the one message mankind had been hoping for ever since
Homo Sapiens looked at the stars floated majestically in glorious CAPs on the
ship's screens...
"REQUEST FOR URGENT BUSINESS RELATIONSHIP
FIRST, WE MUST SOLICIT YOUR STRICTEST CONFIDENCE IN THIS TRANSACTION. THIS IS
BY VIRTUE OF ITS NATURE AS BEING UTTERLY CONFIDENTIAL..."

disclaimer: impoliteness unintentional. you shall not be offended.