King Ozymandias of Assyria was running low on cash after years of war with
Hittites. His last great possession was the Star of the Euphrates , the most
valuable diamond in the ancient world. Desperate, he went to Croesus, the
pawnbroker, to ask for a loan. Croesus said, "I'll give you 100,000 dinars for
it".

"But I paid a million dinars for it," the King protested."Don't you know who I
am? I am the king!"

Croesus replied, "When you wish to pawn a Star, makes no difference who you
are."

Evidence has been found that William Tell and his family were avid bowlers.
Unfortunately, all the Swiss league records were destroyed in a fire, and so
we'll
never know for whom the Tells bowled

A man rushed into a busy doctor's office and shouted, "Doctor! I think I'm
shrinking!"
The doctor calmly responded, "Now, settle down.You'll just have to be a little
patient."

A thief broke into the local police station and stole all the toilets and
urinals, leaving no clues. A spokesperson was quoted as saying, "We have
absolutely nothing to go on."

A famous Viking explorer returned home from a voyage and found his name
missing from the town register. His wife insisted on complaining to the local
civic official who apologized profusely, saying, "I must have taken Leif off
my census."

There were three Indian squaws. One slept on a deer skin, one slept on an elk
skin, and the third slept on a hippopotamus skin. All three became pregnant.
The first two each had a baby boy. The one who slept on the hippopotamus skin
had twin boys. This just goes to prove that ... the squaw of the hippopotamus
is equal to the sons of the squaws of the other two hides.

E.