Boy: A noise with dirt on it.
Boys will be boys, and so will a lot of middle-aged men.
Budget: A method for going broke methodically.
Bureaucrat, n.: A person who cuts red tape sideways.
California raisins murdered! Cereal killer suspected.
Close your eyes and press escape three times.
Cole's Law: "Thinly sliced cabbage."
Conscience is what hurts when everything else feels good.
Despite the high cost of living, it remains very popular.
Don't sweat the petty things, just pet the sweaty things.
Don't you hate it when life doesn't follow the manuals?
Dynamic linking error: Your mistake is now everywhere.
Eleven tons of hair stolen: Police combing area.
God is REAL, unless explicitly declared INTEGER.
Horse sense is what a horse has that keeps it from betting on people.
I know I have a purpose because I always seem to need deodorant.
I hate laundry month.
I disclaim my disclaimer!
I do a lot of thinking in the john. Says a lot for my thoughts.
If laws were outlawed, only outlaws would be lawyers. . .
Illegitimus non Carborundem -- "Don't let them grind you down".
It's always darkest just before it goes pitch black.
Most of us hate to see a poor loser. Rich winners, though, are worse.
Mr. Bullfrog sez: Time's fun when you're having flies.
Multitasking allows screwing up several things at once.
Music is the only sensual pleasure without vice.
My mail reader can beat up your mail reader.
My opinions are not those of my ex-employer.
My Go! This amn keyboar oesn't have any 's!
My computer NEVER crassssssssssssssssssss
My last cow just died: I won't need your bull anymore.
Never forget: 2 + 2 = 5 for extremely large values of 2.
Never hit a man with glasses. Use your fist.
Never call a man a fool. Instead, borrow from him.
Never deprive someone of hope; it may be all they have.
Never put off till tomorrow what you can ignore entirely.
Never eat prunes when you're famished.
Next time you wave at me, use more than one finger, please.
Nobody can be just like me. Even I have trouble.
The glass is half full--and what's in it has gone rancid.
These are only my opinions. You should see my convictions...
To define recursion, we must first define recursion.
What if there were no hypothetical situations?
ZAP! Process discontinued. Enter any 12-digit prime number to resume.