A woman is enjoying a good game of bridge with her girlfriends one
evening.

"Oh, no! I have to rush home and fix dinner for my husband! He's going to
really be ticked if it's not ready on time."

When she gets home, she realizes she doesn't have enough time to go to the
supermarket, and all she has in the cupboard is a wilted lettuce leaf, an
egg, and a can of cat food. In a panic, she opens the can of cat food,
stirs in the egg, and garnishes it with the lettuce leaf just as her
husband is pulling up.

She greets her husband and then watches in horror as he sits down to his
dinner. To her surprise, the husband is really enjoying his dinner.

"Darling, this is the best dinner you have made for me in forty years of
marriage. You can make this for me any old day."

Needless to say, every bridge night from then on, the woman made her
husband the same dish. She told her bridge cronies about it and they were
all horrified. "You're going to kill him!" they exclaimed.

Two months later, her husband died.

The woman were sitting around the table playing bridge when one of the
cronies said, "You killed him! We told you that feeding him that cat food
every week would do him in! How can you just sit there so calmly and play
bridge knowing you murdered your husband?"

The wife stoically replied, "I didn't kill him. He fell off the mantel
while he was licking his ass!"