Prisoner number 828, in Desolathya maximum hospitality prison: Florence.
Convicted for raping smurf village too much. Smurfs made a complaint,
bastards. So i was enjoying the savory prison foor and planning a revenge on
the blue fellas. I even wrote a book 'mein kampf against capheads'. Well then
a social worker appears in the prison. She shook my hand and said 'lets go
kick some smurf ass'. We escaped through the chimney, also found there a
prisoner disguised as the Santa Claus, who had got stuck there. So it was me,
social worker and Claus heading toward smurf village. We were just discussing
about cheerleaders, when a black figure made a spectacular somersault down
from a cloud. Oh my God, it appeared to be Mickey the mouse himself. Mickey
claimed with his usual vigorous voice that the smurfs had captured Minney for
some sinister ritual. Mickey was devastated. We armed ourselves with the
cutting edge of military techology: I took a magical sword, social worker took
a flamethrower. Mickey took a tank and Santa claus chose a chainsaw. At
midnight we assaulted the village. Worker used her flamethrower, and to our
satisfaction we saw smurfs screaming wildly and turning from blue to black.
Chainsaw roared, sending bodyparts flying through the atmosphere. Then the big
bad boss gopaks in. 3-metre smurf with 8 hands, in each hand a baseballbat.
'Nobody hits like SMURFETTE-ZILLA!', she puffed. She was all around us,
clubbing our sore bodies. she took my pants off and gave me a sound spanking,
laughing merrily. But I had an ace in my sleeve! A voodoo doll resembling the
leader of smurfs, Smurfette. I poked my finger through the doll. 'AEAEAEAE'
shouted Smurfette-zilla, shrinking into a small white shrimp, suffeli for
pizza. So was the world (and Minney) saved from this grisly smurf menace...the
end.