Aphorisms

1. I think animal testing is a terrible idea; they get all nervous and
give the wrong answers. -- A Bit of Fry and Laurie

2. A Freudian slip is when you say one thing but mean your mother.

3. The hypothalamus is one of the most important parts of the
brain,involved in many kinds of motivation, among other functions. The
hypothalamus controls the "Four F's": 1. fighting; 2. fleeing;
3.feeding; and 4. mating.
-- Psychology professor in neuropsychology intro course

4. Slogan of 105.9, the classic rock radio station in Chicago: "Of all the
radio stations in Chicago...we're one of them."

5. Applying computer technology is simply finding the right wrench to
pound in the correct screw.

6. Karate is a form of martial arts in which people who have had years and
years of training can, using only their hands and feet, make some of the
worst movies in the history of the world. -- Dave Barry

7. I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian
because I hate plants. -- A. Whitney Brown

8. A great many people think they are thinking when they are merely
rearranging their prejudices. -- William James

9. If a woman has to choose between catching a fly ball and saving an
infant's life, she will choose to save the infant's life without even
considering if there are men on base. -- Dave Barry

10. When cryptography is outlawed, bayl bhgynjf jvyy unir cevinpl.

11. Lazlo's Chinese Relativity Axiom: No matter how great your triumphs
or how tragic your defeats---approximately one billion Chinese couldn't
care less.