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Library: Humorous adventure tale


Author: tume
Date:May 17 2009

Once upon a time in the realms of batmud.
There was a warrior named Koira. He born over century ago.
In the very beginning, he was annoying.
He shouted everywhere and wasn't polite enough.

Battle methods of him was clearly odd compared what
others were using.
He was using dirty fighting and other cheap tricks.
No one liked him that much. 
Not in a party or a friend. He was all alone.

Years passed and Koira learned new ways of playing.
New guilds were born and Koira reincarnated often.
He was eager to test all new powers what Gods offered.
Some of them were good, but not all.
So Koira was reincarnating over and over again.
Reincing took lots of efford, to grind all the cash what
guildmasters were requiring for leveling.
So Koira went in the never ending spiral of doom and started
to loan money from others.

Loans got sharked and Koira needed money fast.
Koira bought some equipment cheap and sold em with profit, but
gold transfers was directed to greedy loan sharkers 
and once again Koira was without luck, money and friends.

Then one day a miracle happened. 
Koira found a soulmate called Kissa. 
They planned and planned for a week how to get out 
of troubles. Then lightning striked. 
They got a marvellous idea:
"We start raiding cities.", Kissa said.
"Holy shit, I just thought the same!" shouted 
Koira enthusiasticly.

Then they loaned some required equipment 
from black market player called Lehmae.
Lehmae wasn't stupid so he asked to get 1/3 of loots 
and demanded to keep him out of troubles, if they happen 
to get caught.

Ropes, cloaks and picks were waggling in the night when
they were climbing over the citywalls. It was easy to get
past gateguards by going alternative way, over the wall.

"Oh fuck" Kissa whispered while peering to inner gate
of the city. "There are alarmed maximum level guardians
at the gate."

"Hmpf" Koira pondered. "Let's have a look if Lehmae gave
us anything usefull for situations like this" He said.
Koira searched the backpack and found one suitable magical
item. Koira pulled out a ancient looking shield.

Shield granted true invisibility to Koira and as he holded
Kissa's hand they both come invisible.

So our heroic party traveled past inner gates and looked for
various directions to make their way to biggest treasure chamber.
They laughed hideously while the moved past the guardians room
after room. Guards just scrathed their heads as they heard
voices but didn't saw anything.

Finally Koira and Kissa was standing in enourmous room with
a small army of armed guardians. There was atleast thirty chest
in this room and all they needed was to pick em open with
lockpicks. It was somewhat challencing as they needed to hold
each others hand for keeping true invisibilty on.
They started with most sturdiest and biggest safe what they saw.

Safe was just about to open, when Koira suddenly started to lick
his balls. Kissa was scared of disgust and he jumped in high air.

Their hands weren't anymore touching and Kissa's true 
invisibility dropped. All guards aggroed to him and whole party
of course. Destroying spells were chained 
by all guardians.

Before guards beated Koira and Kissa to death, all equipment
including weapons, armours and items they were carrying was

Lehmaes unique top-end thiefing equipment was gone too.

Lehmae heard this and cursed both players with assistance
of allmighty Gods and they weren't able to accept anything
while sitting in the burning flames of hell. Some rumours say
that they are still enjoying the warmth with Asmodeus,
today and forever.

The End.