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Library: Picnic at the Eowyn


Author: freld
Date:Dec 21 2009

Our story begins at the forest of Eowyn where the tree heroes known as Tomi
Tractor, Henri the great and Lauri Luppakorva set out for a picnic.

"So we have finally arrived to the beautiful forest of Eowyn." Quacks Henri. 
Lauri responds: "Yes, the view is magnificent indeed, isn't it Tomi?" 
Tomi looks around and yawns: "Yeah view is nice, but my hands ache so much
from all the workout i did yesterday."
Henri laughs and says: "You work out once a year and then bitch about it for
next two weeks, or did you mean something else when you said 'hands ache' and
Lauri snorts: "Stop it guys, we promised Tomi doesn't speak about wanking,
Henri doesn't go afk and i won't bitch about nuns, lets head to that field to
set up our picnic table."

Henri and Tomi nods and the three heroes head forward in the forest and stop
at the clearing to prepare their picnic table.

Henri ponders: "Umm, so how do we do this, I don't know anything about setting
a campsite."
Lauri smiles with glee as he states the obvious: "Well we all use our massive
repertoure of skills and see how it looks of course, who wants to start!?"
Tomi looks around for a bit and then runs to the woods, after just few minutes
he returns with a corpse of fox and a smile on his face.
"The hell you gonna do with that?" Asks Henri.
Tomi cackles: "I'm going to use my repertoure of skills as Lauri asked us!
I'll desecrate this ground for us!"
As Tomi starts to desecrate the clearing with his fresh corpse Lauri starts to
sing King's feast over and over again, Henri gets a sad expression on his face

Tomi snorts at Henri and wink to Lauri as he speaks: "You could go find us
some real meat, hunt down some food for us mate."
Lauri giggles at the side as Henri sadly nods and leaves to explore the
southwestern parts of the Eowyn forest. After 30minutes the ground is covered
with blood, guts and delicious foods and drinks that Lauri song for the
Lauri: "So you think Henri will make it out alive? Or should I say intact
since his already an undead?"
Tomi: "He should be fine, he likes to play solo anyway most of the time, we
share the same bedroom but he never plays with me :("
Lauri: " really are filthy, perverted middleaged man like Reetu always
told us."
Tomi "I can't help it, speaking of Reetu where is he?"
Lauri: "Dunno, he said something about writing a shitty tale to advance in the
bard guild further. I'm so not going to approve his writings, I mean the guys
a dick!"
Tomi: "But dick is a good thing."
Lauri: "......."

As Lauri and Tomi eat while chatting about their daily routines they start
hearing a strange noise from southwest.

Lauri: "Could that be Henri coming back? Sounds kinda...Odd tho..."

Tomi snorts: "Maybe he actually found us something to eat, lets check it out."
As they start walking towards southwest Henri runs like a rabid dog to them
and pants: "It, It, It, It's coming, lets get the hell outta here before it
eats us!"

Lauri perks his ears and says: "Exactly what is coming? Suddenly it went so
silent i can't hear anything else but out breathing."
As Lauri finishes his sentence a HUGE bear jumps out from southwest.

Tomi: "Holy shit, the legendary bear of Eowyn, I always thoughts it is just a
fairy tale! Run guys, RUN!"

Lauri: "DAMNIT, it blocks all the directions, how is this possible when it
just stands there! And im still on my dex swap from all the feasts, help!"
Henri charges towards the bear with a knife in his hand yelling "I'll make it

after few rounds of combat Henri yells: "Sorry guys it resists physical
damage, it bleeds all the time but it doesn't seem to do anything to it, what
a weird logic."

Tomi swings his sword around as he calmly states: "Talking about logic, i know
lot of spells but i can't cast any of them because i wrote my name on Kharim
guild application, life is weird isn't it?"

Lauri: "Guys, I think its turbo and since it blocks every direction this isn't
looking too good, stop chatting and give it your best!"

Bear charges towards Henri, rips his head off and roars victoriously, after a
brief moment the bear shoots golden arrow from it's eyes towards Lauri ripping
through his body.

Tomi looks at his friends pale corpses with sadness as the bear scores a
massive critical hit that causes heart tissue to fly everywhere. And this is
how our heroes picnic went at the lovely forest of Eowyn, killed and mutilated
by a bear, talking about dirty things and not really having a god damn clue
about how to have a picnic.

--Freld o/