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Library: A bardic tale

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Author: diolyx
Date:Jul 20 2012

%Announcer shouts 'Welcome and greetings, everyone!'
%Announcer shouts 'Today's performance will feature 3 elephants, 2 clowns, a
host of live animals, a high wire, and a bearded lady.'
%Announcer shouts 'Please give us just a moment to set everything up and we'll
start shortly!'
%Time passes and nothing happens.
%Baramoth says 'this sucks.'
%Sharon says 'no kidding.'
%Yuras says 'if shit doesn't happen soon I'm outta here.'
%Fuser says 'screw this. It's time for a keg stand!'
%Fuser grabs each side of a keg, lifts himself up, and starts guzzling beer.
%Everyone stares in amazement as he starts draining the keg.
%. ..35 !
%. ..36 !
%. ..37 !
%Suddenly the ground shakes and the keg is knocked over.
%Fuser falls to the ground in a heap.
%Fuser says 'wtf?'
%Bright lights shimmer across the walls and a huge crash resounds from the
stage area.
%As you turn around, you see that the stage has blown up. There's nothing left
of it.
%Baramoth shouts 'what happened?!'
%Sharon says 'no kidding.'
%Yuras says 'seriously? what the hell..'
%Bard coughs noisily.
%Bard says 'Am I the only one who was watching the stage as this dude drained
the keg?'
%Bard pokes Fuser accusingly.
%Bard says 'If you'd like, I'd be happy to recount the events as I saw them?'
%Everyone nods eagerly.
%Bard says 'very well then.'
%Bard pulls out a lute and strums it a few times.
%Bard sings 'The moon blazed bright,'
%Bard sings 'That starry night,'
%Bard sings 'A fiery Dragon did roam free;'
%Bard sings 'And from the town,'
%Bard sings 'The Knight rode down,'
%Bard sings 'To do his job and collect his fee.'
%Bard takes a sip of water.
%Bard sings 'To slay the dragon he had come.'
%Bard sings 'It was business and it was fun.'
%Bard sings 'But what he wanted was Revenge.'
%Bard sings 'His village once had been burned down,'
%Bard sings 'Before he chose his path.'
%Bard sings 'He had to get the job done soon;'
%Bard sings 'For it'd been weeks since his last bath.'
%Bard looks around to see if everyone is paying attention.
%Bard sings 'He'd sought the dragon,'
%Bard sings 'And he'd fought it,'
%Bard sings 'Many times before.'
%Bard sings 'Since neither would bend,'
%Bard sings 'In draw it would end,'
%Bard sings 'But this time would be different, each swore.'
%Bard sings 'All at once, the beast swooped down,'
%Bard sings 'Fire flaming in his fury.'
%Bard sings 'The Knight struck fast, hoping soon'
%Bard sings 'To have Dragon's corpse to bury.'
%Bard sings 'The bloody battle was fought once more,'
%Bard sings 'As deadly as a full-blown war.'
%Bard sings 'And the true ending was found at last;'
%Bard sings 'Dragon impaled, Knight fried on blast.'
%Bard sings 'Neither finding their glory,'
%Bard sings 'The happy ending to their story,'
%Bard sings 'Though the conflict was resolved at last.'
%Bard sings 'The moon blazed bright,'
%Bard sings 'That starry night,'
%Bard sings 'The Dragon had met his doom.'
%Bard sings 'And to the town,'
%Bard sings 'The Knight was brought down,'
%Bard sings 'And laid out in his tomb.'
%Bard bows deeply.
%Bard says 'and that's how it went, at least as I saw it.  Unfortunately the
stage didn't survive.'
%Everyone claps!
%Loremaster pats Bard on the back heartily.
%Diolyx arrives from the smoldering stage.
%Diolyx sighs.
%Diolyx says 'umm. sorry about that.. seems there was a bit of a problem with
some dragon?'
%Loremaster looks at Bard.
%Loremaster says 'nice job!'
%Guardian <bard>: Loremaster approves Bard's guild quest 'performance'!
%Loremaster says 'ok.. time for me to idle for another 6 months.'
%Loremaster leaves south.
%Diolyx says 'what the hell??'
%And such is the life of a bard on BatMUD..


Books