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Library: The Life and Times of Deathseeker Pathius, Volume I


Author: deathseeker
Date:Jul 24 2013

The Life and Times of Deathseeker Pathius
This is the tale of my life. It is not a pretty tale, or one in which mostly
nice things happen, but I like to think that since I am actually here writing
it, it is a good tale. At least somewhat good sometimes I guess I will let you
be the judge of that.
I started as a little Deathseeker, new in the ways of this mighty Batworld.
For you young-folk, this was back before the land split into multiple parts
and foul necromancers walked the land. For a time, I was one of those foul
necromancers, calling up the sweet undead to do my unholy bidding. That is a
tale for another time though. 
The first levels went by slowly, despite what you might experience these days.
Butterflies and bugs would kick the crap out of me. Bunnies and sparrows would
eat my soul and cackle as I got sent to hell from a huge hit. Highbies, of
unimaginable power would run through common areas with a menacing evil aura
on, mowing down newbies left and right. Oh Radagast, I remember your botting
ways well!
I was starting to tire already, and thinking of hanging up my proverbial hat
(actually I was too poor to afford a hat). Inspiration struck me, though and I
wandered off to find out about the strange ritual that would turn me from this
humble four armed monkey, into a mighty and powerful vampire. Oh yes, a
vampire was of course the answer to all of my newbie woes!
So I asked the first vampire that I could find about joining his newbie
friendly race. 
Then I got summoned. 
Then I got pkilled.
Being the newbie that I was, I immediately sent off a message, asking politely
what the problem was, and why a poor innocent newbie was being molested. Four
letter words are polite aren't they? I don't suppose that you will be
surprised at what happened next. I got summoned. I got killed. Lots. 
Again, being the innocent friendly newbie that I was, I immediately whined to
the first archwizard I could find. This time I was VERY polite, and for my
troubles I got thrown into boat for almost an hour, and then killed by a large
mushroom cloud. Let me tell you, this made me a little angry.
One might think that getting summoned out into the middle of oceans (where I
ran myself to a watery drowning death), or into locked rooms, or lava, or into
boats (I guess I was not polite enough with the wizzies) would have
discouraged me. Some might have imagined that the constant mocking of the name
my mother chose for me, while I rotted away in hell, would have made me call
"Uncle"! Others might have given up when they learned how to be the ball in a
rousing game of Summon Ball, but not Deathseeker Pathius!
No, I swore to get my revenge. I swore upon my saintly mother's grave, may she
rest in peace, that I would avenge every slight, every insult, every summon,
and every kill. I learned the fine arts of "hide in the castle and church" and
"wear a lead ring". I set upon the butterflies, bunnies, and beetles with a
vengeance never before seen in the history of batmud! Blood flew and innards
were left on the ground to rot in the withering heat. Yeah, I did encounter
Radagast many more times, yet never did he respond to my conversational
gambits and therefore he was never my nemesis.
Slowly, but surely I built up my power, feasting on the souls of innocent dead
animals (the smaller the better!). I participated in collecting the weapons
and armor from slain monsters, made friends and foes, loved and lost (not
necessarily in that order), and found out that some wizards are fond of sheep
(AhemCyberman).  Most importantly though, I gained power, awesome, sweet,
addictive, POWER! 
The student was now turning into the master! Grasshopper was patient! Wax-on!
Wax-off! Revenge is a dish best served cold! Now, the hunter becomes the
hunted! And so I set off to kill that which was already dead. It was time for
Deathseeker to hunt Latexi but that is for another story.

The End