Author: nyriori
Date:Mar 6 2021
The Lorenchian Sweeper Street sweepers have a way of seeming annoyed no matter what they're doing, and those of Lorenchia are no exception. Most of them know better than to say anything, but being surrounded constantly by adventurers who want nothing more than to massacre the local townsfolk has made the lot of them more than a bit antisocial - had the chief sweeper not taught the others the banish spell, the same fate would have befallen the sweepers as well, and they all knew it. So, they would try to focus on their job, which usually consisted of disposing of the worldly possessions that their fellow citizens were forced to no longer have any use for, taking pride in the idea that at least they could say they do their jobs well. This plan worked quite nicely until the arrival of a certain catfolk merchant, one that seemed determined to rob the sweepers of their professional dignity. At first, the sweepers thought she was just there to do business - after all, this was the capital city of Lucentium and the shops were well known for having a wide variety of trade goods. To their dismay, however, her focus seemed to be entirely on one thing: picking up every single piece of gear and trash that had been left behind by the regular pillaging of the town. It didn't matter what it was - tools, weapons, personal effects, clothing, literally everything was scooped up on a regular basis and sorted to one purpose or another, and by the look of it, the vast majority went to a use other than filling a trash can. Whether it was the speed, the obvious skills involved or just the sheer intensity of her tours through the streets of Lorenchia, the sweepers could only find one reaction to it: utter embarassment. None of them had ever managed to clean the city up nearly as well as this merchant could, and they dearly hoped no-one would notice how much better she was at it. Recognizing the threat to his position, the chief sweeper had a mind to tell the merchant to leave. That idea quickly died however after he witnessed her turning into a four-tentacled chaos spawn when trying to pick up an enormous harp, which left him with no appetite to confront her. Realizing that he didn't really know what he was dealing with, he instead resorted to using what few political connections he had to find some other way of convincing her that Lorenchia really wasn't worth her time. Assessing his options, he finally decided on the only one that he thought might work: he commissioned a member of the Spider guild to ambush her and show her what a REAL demon was like... or so he thought at the time. The Spider arrived and summoned a demon to possess himself, binding it with his own blood. Screaming in agony, he attempted to channel its power in a display of ferocity that, he was certain, would frighten this merchant into leaving for safer scavenging grounds. Unfortunately, he misspoke the words of the binding spell, and fumbled: in a flash, the demon exploded out of his body (sending it to hell in the process) and somehow found a way to manifest directly on the street, growing larger and larger by the moment until it reached a truly MEGA size. Raising its forelegs and expanding its mandibles, it skittered towards the merchant from behind... only to have her turn at the last moment as she moved to pick up another piece of clothing off to her side. Narrowing her eyes, she invoked a prayer to Azzarak, her body shifting into a noticeably more menacing (and tentacled) form as she prepared for battle. Then, however, she stopped, and suddenly grew excited. Wait, wait! No, this is perfect! I've finally found one after all these years! The Spider demon stopped, confusion growing in its mind. Clearly its attempt at intimidation wasn't going as planned. You have to be the most MEGA spider demon that's ever existed! Just wait right there, I have someone you need to meet!" It would be fair to say that, at least metaphorically, a huge question mark was floating over the Spider demon's head at this point, but lacking any better plan, it decided to wait. Then, not long after, the merchant returned, along with someone else, that for some odd reason looked like a blond-haired male human wearing a nurse's uniform. See? SEE? I told you I'd find one for you eventually. This is definitely a MEGA spider demon!" The nurse nodded, grinning widely... and what then transpired between him and that Spider demon is something that no words can describe, except to say, it was a very, very long time coming. From the nearby shadows, the chief sweeper looked on with horror, realizing that the best he was able to do was nowhere near good enough in this matter, and more than that, he really didn't have any idea what just happened, further proving that he was never going to understand what this inscrutably efficient merchant was all about. Dispirited beyond compare, he decided to book the next ship passage out of Lorenchia for somewhere that no merchant would ever want to go (he hoped), and as he boarded the ship, he couldn't help but admit to himself that at the very least, Lorenchia would be kept clean by she who had clearly been his replacement all along.