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Library: Esim-mania #1 - Bloodbath gone wild (Broe fan art)


Author: esim
Date:Dec 20 2021

[19:22]:Guardian <bard>: Esim plays the kings feast horribly wrong! The
Gremlin has been summoned.

[19:22]:Ghost of Esim [ghost]: hupsista saatana
[19:26]:Esim [bat]: We'll start by killing the Gremin from Amphitheater first
[19:27]:Esim [terror+]: tulisko jengi jeesaan toi mobin vittu tuolta
[19:27]:Tuneaxe (terror+): jätkän play onkin ansa
[19:28]:Arasaka [ghost]: that was your show esim? :)
[19:28]:Esim [ghost]: nope, fumbled kings feast and a gremlin arrived in
[19:28]:Esim [ghost]: his a fairly mean hitter
[19:29]:Sloppy (ghost): great perforance! Top notch! jolly good sir
[19:29]:Esim [wanted]: dudes to kill that effing gremlin in skeep
[19:32]:Esim [bat]: Due to sudden Gremlin infestation in the Amphitheater, the
play will be postponed to tomorrow
[19:32]:Ggr <bat>: nah
[19:32]:Resin (bat): kill gremlin?
[19:33]:Ggr <bat>: somehow it ended up in mah belly.
[19:33]:(bat): Resin raises her eyebrow and goes 'Nice.'.
[19:33]:[bat]: Esim likes that belly
[19:33]:Ggr <bat>: I swear it looked like a green carrot!
[19:33]:Esim [bat]: okie, so we'll begin
[19:34]:Esim [bat]: Gremlin gone, play happening, starting in 3-2-1-now

> show deaths
| Time             Killed by                                               |
| 20 Dec - 19:22   an ugly old gremlin                                     |
| 20 Dec - 19:27   an ugly old gremlin                                     |
| 20 Dec - 19:29   an ugly old gremlin                                     |

%Amphitheater goes dark, and a single spotlight aimed at the curtain switches
on. Announcer walks on the stage, and speaks: 'Ladies and gentlemen,
immortals, wizards, avatars, liches, gargoyles, brownies, penguins,
leprechauns, sprites, vampires, draconians, barsoomians, shadows, harpies,

%Announcer draws breath and continues: 'cyclopses, trolls, lizardmen, moomins,
valars, ents, elves, duergars...'

%Announcer seems to be lost in his thoughts.

%Finally, Announcer continues: '...and other creatures..' He switches his tone
to a more lively one: 'Welcome to the final round of BLOOOOOODDDBBAAAAAAAAATHHH

%Announcer peeks at a tiny note in his left hand and continues: 'The first
contest is between Kohothegreat, the baby-crusher from Arelium, and Mayfair
the barsoomian'

%Announcer adds quickly, with fingers crossed behind his back: 'All the
characters are fictitional and any relations to batrealm characters are purely

%Announcer leaves the stage and trumpets play a fanfare.

%Salesman appears in front of the audience, carrying a hawker tray filled with
refreshments. As he starts moving between the lines of seats, the curtains
open and some more stage lights turn on. A huge rectangular platform is on the
stage. There are posts in each corner of the platform and ropes are attached
to these posts forming a boundary to the platform.

%Manager runs up to the stage, yelling: 'Wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong,
wrong, wrong! If my client is not on this one, then we're not hanging around
here all night to wait! We're getting our business done, and we're getting on
a ferry to Rilynttar, where my client is ultimately appreciated! So let's get
this nonsense over with ... we're doing it right here, right now! Ladies and
gentlemen, introducing, at 365 pounds, the Rollins-stomping beast slayer
slayer, the reigning, defending, undisputed universal heavyweight champion of
the Batrealm, Broetchen 'the King' Semla!'

%A big dude appears on stage. He's wearing a robe with text Broetchen written
with golden letters on the back. He climbs on the platform, but has some
difficulty fitting himself between the ropes.

%One of the organizers run up on the platform. He starts concentrating on a
spell. Mayfair snaps into existence.

%Mayfair just sits idle, not reacting.

%Broetchen hugs its own voluminous robe of mage guild leader. Then Broetchen
removes the robe, tossing it over the ropes.

%Announcer shouts: 'Did you see that!? The way he handled that robe. Broetchen
seems to be ready for some player killing!'

%Broetchen starts flexing his muscles and shouts 'I am the best here, I can
ask 100 ppl and 99 agree'. He poses front double biceps and yells 'I don't
know this Mayfair guy but she will join the marvelous company of Ecky,
Arnoldi, Zenick, Spann, Tiktok and Kohothegreat, to name a few

%Announcer shouts: 'Can't wait to see how Broetchen handles his opponent! How
about you audience? Are you ready to rumble?'

%Mayfair just sits there watching the flexing and posing going on. Seems like
she doesn't know why she is here or what she's supposed to do. She has the far
away look of an idle player.

%Broetchen goes to one corner of the platform, leaning against the post, his
hands on the ropes. Mayfair still just sits there. Something is about to
happen soon.

%> idle Mayfair

%Mayfair has been idle for 9h 17m 12s

%A blood red demon shouts 'THE BLOOD BATH HAS BEGUN.''

%Broetchen starts walking aggressively towards Mayfair.

%Ecky (bat): We all love you Broetchen, you're the best!

%Broetchen BARBARICALLY BEATS Mayfair forcing the heart to explode and then
magically implode.

%Announcer shouts 'Wow! Broetchen is not just trying to hurt the woman - he's
out to end her career!'

%Broetchen turns around quickly, he runs to the ropes on the other side of
platform, leaning into them, then changing direction. He jumps high up and
does a diving elbow drop at Mayfair.

%Mayfair is DEAD. R.I.P.

%You can see Death, clad in black, collect her corpse.

%Announcer shouts: 'What a move! Mayfair just sat there and Broetchen finished
her with first elbow drop!'

%A blood red demon shouts 'THE BLOOD BATH HAS ENDED.'

%A blood red demon shouts 'And the highest score was made by Kohothegreat!'

%A blood red demon shouts 'You must be alive and in the game at the end!'

%A blood red demon shouts 'The winner is Broetchen!'

%A blood red demon shouts 'Peace and order is restored to the world. Stop
fighting each other.'

%Broetchen stands up, yelling. 'I won!'

%Satyr walks up on the stage, What a weird satyr, she's obviously a bard, but
wearing black and white nun habits.

%Broetchen climbs down from the platform to the front of the stage, apparently
for an interview. Satyr asks: 'So Broetchen, a great match. What would you say
was your recipe to winning tonight?'

%Broetchen, still breathing heavily, says: 'Thanks... Satyr, whatever you are
... Well, you know...  I bleed my heart and soul to learn this mud and have
knowledge 99% of you could not possibly start to comprehend... and then take
ALL MY EFFORT possible, to type in the commands as fast as humanly possible..'

%Satyr nods and Broetchen continues: 'That and also because I actually know
how to play the game and know about mechanics, quests, areas, leading and am
not eternal exp newbie!'

%Satyr says: 'You most certainly are not'. Broetchen continues: 'My secondary
has 1G exp, ungodly prots, 100 dodgeparry , 9 full boons, ... Better than most

%Satyr says: 'Indeed! You have spent a lot of time playing this game, and
after all the effort, it must be so rewarding to punch down on people. Thank
you for the interview!'

%Satyr turns to audience 'Thats it's for tonight! I hope you liked this
evening's sport entertainment. Have a safe trip home.'

%Satyr leaves the stage and Amphitheater lights up.

[19:41]:Guardian <bard>: Loremaster Marrow approves Esim's guild quest