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Library: Monsters memories


Author: Typhos
Date:May 4 2002

The monster's memories, written by Typhos.

I had just arrived at my new apartment in the BatWorld when this incident
happened. My new stronghold was just built, its four shiny towers
standing proudly. I, of course, had a nice and warm apartment in the
tallest, black tower, because that's what evil overlords tend to do.
I had hired myself some guards and of course I had a few trusted
lieutenants to assist me and give me advice.

I had been in exile for some time now, as I was forced to flee
from my previous stronghold because of some eager adventurers
who kept coming in all the time, slaying my precious guards
and trying to relieve me from my possessions. (Which, by the way,
were not very special, just an old magical sword and some ring
and a helmet which isn't very comfortable so I tend to keep it in a chest).
Of course, I could defend myself up to a certain point, but no matter
how much I slay those adventurers, they just keep coming back.
If you ask me, resurrection is something unnatural but what can you do.
Anyway, I grew tired of this constant pestering and decided I'd move
to the countryside. And indeed I did, as far from the old place as possible
so that no one could find me.
I built a nice little stronghold there and lived on, hoping no adventurer
would ever find me. But, as I was soon going to find out, my dreams of peace
were going to get brutally crushed.

One peaceful evening, I was watching the sunset from the top window of my
beautiful black tower sipping wine, when my trusted lieutenant rushed
into the room and said: 'Sir, there are some adventurers on the front door.'
'Oh gosh', I thought, here we go again. I hoped they would find nothing of
interest here, since I had spend some money so the castle would look
abandoned and empty from the outside. But, my hopes were cruelly shattered
as someone started picking the HUGE (tm) lock on my gate. Of course,
he managed to open the gate (At that moment, I cursed the dwarven lockmakers
into hell). Well, since it had been some time from last good battle with
adventurers, I thought perhaps a little warm-up would keep me in shape.
So I got my sword and other equipment, ordered the lieutenant to
organise some kind of defence lines and started waiting for the adventurers.

From my tower window, I could observe what kind of people were trying to
rob me. I saw two big soldiers, perhaps a troll and an ogre, dressed in
their shiny armours and all that. Behind them, a couple of
magicians were casting some protective spell on the tanks.
One evil-looking (cute though) sprite flew around them too,
yelling something incoherent which made the soldiers' eyes burn red.
That sprite must be one of those renowned evil priests.
I let out a silent 'bwahaha' as I recalled that I was extremely
tolerant against such evil beings and their spells. Then there was one
duck, obviously a healer because it kept casting something like
invisible shields and such at the front row soldiers. Well, we would
soon see how good that healer was, I thought and ordered a few
soldiers to attack those pesky adventurers.

Well, I must say the adventurers' effiency and skills astonished me.
Ruthlessly, they mowed down my guards, one by one. I had barely enough
time to cast some minor protective spells at me before they were killing
my trusted lieutenants. Well, I have to admit that those money I paid
for the lieutenants were well spent, for they put up a good fight.
They managed to kill a few adventurers with blades and some well aimed
golden arrows. But the adventurers were unfair since the healer waited
in another room and resurrected those poor corpses as fast as they were
killed. Now THAT is unfair. Anyway, the battle was kind of funny to
follow, even though my lieutenants did not survive. After a few hours
I began to see very stressed faces among the adventurers, and sometimes
they yelled a lot at each others.

After a few hours of furious battle, I had to admit that my lieutenants
were dead. Both of them, and that I would be their next target. I decided
to make it as hard as possible, and hid behind my throne decorated with
evil-looking carvings and skulls. I heard the adventurers enter the room
and wandering if there are any monsters left and where's the loot. I even
heard something like 'handless' and 'no freaking treasures here' being said.
So I decided to fight a bit and jumped from behind the throne shouting
terribly. You should have seen the adventurers' faces (I, as all evil
overlords, were at least two times the size of their biggest front row
soldier). Well, of course the first moments of battle were pretty much
dominated by me. I wiped the whole party a few times with my special
death spells and ofcourse my sword chopped down nicely the tanks too.
However, there were six of them (with that damn resurrection) and
I was alone so I began to get hit again and again and I weakened.
I realised I would get myself killed if I didn't escape somehow.
But how would I do that?

I decided to gather all strength I had left and blast the party
into oblivion, all of them. While they were getting their bodies
resurrected, I'd leave my trusty sword as decoys (greedy adventurers
will always stay arguing over some junk swords) and silently
escape through a secret tunnel.

So, next time the party came to 'finish' me (I knew that because
that annoying duck was with them) I unleashed all my wrath upon
them screaming horribly. That worked, they all melted into funny
looking piles. I dropped my sword and left my rings and other
acessories (I knew I'd get more those from The Legendary Equipment
Shoppe) and slided down the tunnel I had behind the throne.
HAH, I thought and ran through the countryside. I knew some
other evil overlord would give me shelter until I regain my
strength and would certainly be more prepared for the next
group of adventurers.

And, while running around the countryside, I met this bard
Typhos, who offered kindly to write down my story.
Just in case, if the next party managed to kill me,
I would at least get my few lines in BatWorld books.