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Library: A Tale of Two Majors


Author: Kortez
Date:Oct 30 1996

(Lights come up on a solitary man on stage, he slowly looks up)
Narrator: I never once doubted that my major was tough. For I was
a computer engineer, and I knew it was my own folly that put in those
horrid computer labs until only the moon cast its light upon the earth.
But, until that day I took economics, I had no idea how tough my major
was compared to the others. I remeber that day, and it went....something
like this...

(Lights fade out center stage, and come up on the left where the narrator
sits down and joins some other college students)

Prof: And so one can clearly see that Y * sqrt I / sqrt Y
goes to sqrt Y * sqrt I...

Bill Gates Wanna Be #1: Wait, I don't get that, Explain it.

Prof: (looking rather upset) know that Y = sqrt Y * sqrt Y right?

Bill Gates Wanna Be #1: When was I supposed to have learned that?

Not-so-bright Future Secretary: OH MY GOD! Does that work ALL the TIME?!

Rather Worried Business Major #2: Is this gonna be on the test (points to
the equation) cause it wasnt in the book
and you never showed it to us until

Pompous Burger King Manager #3: It better not be on the test,
this is econ, not MATH!

Complete Moron #4: I don't see *HOW* that square root thing will apply
to what I'm gonna do for a job!

(Lights fade out as narrator buries his head in the desk with a look of
disgust and disbelief)