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Library: A1 - Prelude to Insanity

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Author: Ran
Date:Nov 26 1997

Begins.


  "The picture", uttered David, "Look.  What do you notice."
  "You mean the squirrel, or the kid next to him?", asked Jack, wanting some
clarification.
  "No, the background.  Look at this picture, now.", said David, showing him
the next picture.
  "I see.", replied Jack, flipping through the rest of the pictures.  "They
all have this beige-ish ford pickup in the background."
  "Yup.", answered David, nodding.  "We know the squirrel uses a beige ford
pickup."  David sat a while, contemplating.  "Put out an alert notice. 
Anytime anyone sees a beige ford pickup, they're to R4-2 the driver."
  Jack shook his head.  "Can't do that, sir.  Have you any idea how many beige
ford pickups there are?"
  David growled under his breath.  "What am I?", he demanded of Jack.
  "Source, sir, you're source."
  "And questioning source?", demanded David.
  "Questioning source is a condition of liability.", repeated Jack
robotically.  "Fine.  I'll put out the order."  
  "Good.", replied David.  "I knew it wouldn't be problem, once you thought it
out."

  David was feeling a little tired, so he stretched and began to snooze off. 
"These chairs are so comfortable", he thought, as he drifted off to sleep. 
Without warning, though, he began to stir.
  It was a dark room, with no windows.  There was a table, and a aged
white-haired man standing behind it.  He placed a hand on each end of the
table.  Also on the table was a Colt, and a videotape.  "Very good, David. 
Because you were so good about giving up your friends, I'll let you choose how
you die.  Either I can shoot you, with this Colt, and kill you quickly.  Or
you can die slowly by being forced to watch this video tape."  The old man
smiled.  "You've served me well.  Which one will it be?"
  David squinted.  "What's on the tape?", he asked, hoping it was something he
might be able to stand.  
  The old man smiled.  "So you want the tape.  It's the 4-year psychiatric
bulletin update."  David gasped and yelled.  "Noooo!", he begged.
  The old man was enjoying this.  "Actually, it's worse than that.  It's the
english-dubbed Sailor Moon.  The 'day of destiny' episode."  Conflicting
thoughts shot through David's head.  He jerked around, as if in an epileptic
seizure.  "Anything but that!  Just shoot me now!  Please!", he begged.  As
the old man took the Colt, and shot him, he thought he finally woke up, but he
was wrong.
  He was standing in front of a judge, cuffed around the legs and arms.  "For
the crime of 1st degree murder against Theodore Jackson, I hereby sentence you
to death, by lethal injection."  David shook fearfully.  The judge got up, and
another judge took his seat.  "For the crime of 1st degree murder against
Jacob James, I hereby sentence you to death, by the electric chair, to be
administered simultaneously."  Finally, a third judge took his place.  "For
the 1st degree murder of Mrs. Alissa Jones, and subsequent rape and battery
charges, I hereby sentence you to death in the gas chamber, to be carried out
simultaneously."  
The judge announced "This concludes our sentencing, we thank the jury for
their service.  Baliff, escort the accused out of this courtroom."
  He shook off the bad feeling, but it was just followed by another one.  He
was at home, and there was a knock on the door.  He opened it.  It was the
delivery man, holding his new TV.  "Sir, could you sign for your new
bidirectional viewing de- err, I mean TV set?"
  "What did you just say?!", demanded David.
  "Just sign here please."  Reluctantly, David sighed, and locked the TV in a
closet and closed the door.  Before the inevitable happened, he finally
managed to wake himself out of his nightmare by yelling at the top of his
lungs.  
  He requested his secretary immediately.  "Sandra", he demanded, "what's the
situation with that squirrel?"
  She sighed.  "Peter was apprehended by the authorites after he killed a
driver on the freeway and caused a major pile-up.  Other than that, nothing."
  He winced.  "It's not easy going after squirrels.  I've lost some of my best
people doing it.  Keep the pressure up.", he ordered.     Sandra looked
uncertain.  She kept quiet.  

  Jack sat down across the table from Zachary.  "Hi", said Zach, pausing.  "My
names Zachary.  You can call me Zach.  I'll be your auditor today."  Jack took
some time to look at the guy standing in the corner of the room.  He looked
rather typical, denim shirt, ordinary hair, face , and build.  Jack shook his
head, though, thinking that bell-bottoms had gone out of style.  
  "Where's your thingie, umm.. meter, y'know?", asked Jack.
  "Oh, it broke.  Here, we have Mr. Jones.  He'll monitor your responses, and
make appropiate noises depending on the nature of your response."
  Jack just looked dazed.  "Trust me.", insisted Zach, "it'll work just fine. 
You're in good hands."  Jack's expression didn't change.
  "Like try this.  Answer it differently.", said Zach, pausing for effect. 
"What color are your pants."
  Blue, he knew.  "They're orange.", replied Jack.  "Orange with pink and
purple polka dots."  Mr. Jones spun around once, and started flapping his
arms.
  "Bing!  Gleep Gleep!", exclaimed Mr. Jones, who then stopped flapping his
arms.
  "Let's try again.  What color are your pants?", asked Zach.
  "They're blue.  Just ordinary blue.", answered Jack.
  This time, Mr. Jones didn't move at all, he just uttered, "Buzz... zzz...
zzz... Buzz... zzz... zzz...".  
  "See?", insisted Zach.  "That means you answered correctly."  Jack shrugged.
"as usual, if you're not satisfied at the end of the session, you can fill out
this form and get your money back."  Jack nodded.
  Zach opened a folder and slowly began flipping through it.  "Okay.  We were
on 'OT sec check preliminary level 1'.  I'll start."  Jack nodded
apprehensively, as Zach cleared his throat.
  "One hundred and seven.  Have you ever committed any crimes against
humanity.", asked Zach.  Peter
shook his head.  Almost instantly, Mr. Jones threw up his arms and almost
flapped them, like an oversized ostrich trying to get off the ground.
  "Bweep!  Bweep!  zzz... Bweep!  ik ik ik...", yelled Jones, who then turned
around once.
  Zach frowned, but remained calm.  "We'll try that one again.", he ordered
firmly.  Jack felt a little nervous, but pushed the feeling under.
  "Have you commited any crimes against humanity.", repeated Zach.  
  Even before he answered, Jones sounded off, "clik... clik... buzzz..." ,
almost as if to psyche him out.


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