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Library: Religion


Author: Kyra
Date:Nov 2 1995

                World Religions In A Nutshell
                (the new expanded edition)

Taoism          Shit happens
Confucianism    Confucius say "Shit happens"
Buddhism        If shit happens, it isn't really shit
Zen             What is the sound of shit happening?
Hinduism        The shit happened before
Islam           If shit happens, it is the will of Allah.
Protestantism   Let shit happen to someone else.
Catholicism     If shit happens, you deserved it.
Judaism         Why does shit always happen to us?
Mormonism       Our shit is better than your shit
New-age         We are all part of the same shit.
Est             You're responsible for all the shit that happens.
Scientology     If you leave us, bad shit will happen to you.
Satanism        We hope bad shit happens to all of you.
Mysticism       This is really wierd shit.
Rastafarian     Hey, this is good shit mon.
Shamanism       Whooaa ...Holy shit!
Agnosticism     You can't prove any of this shit.
Atheism         I don't believe any of this shit.
Freudianism     All this shit's my parents fault!
Jungianism      This shit must really mean something.
Zoroastrianism  9000 years of shit for a bet?
Mithralism      I know more shit than you.
Gnosticism      It only looks like shit.
Hari Krishna    Do you wanna buy this shit?
Marxism         All history is the history of shit happening.
Leninism        The party knows why shit happens.
Stalinism       Anyone saying shit happens will be shot.
Libertarianism  This is my shit!
Monetarism      The market controls the amount of shit happening.
Keynsianism     The government makes shit happen
Randism         Shit is shit.
Baha'ism        It's all the same shit really.
Environmentalism    We're all in the shit.
Anglicanism     We're not really sure if any of this shit happenned.
Calvinism       Shit never happens to the elect.
Existensialism  So, shit happens, so what?
Creationism     How could all this shit just happen by accident?
Formalism       Happens (shit)
Evolutionism    This shit evolved from some lower form of shit.
Sophism         "Shit"? How do you know it was "shit"?
                Did you step in this "shit"?
                Was it "shit" or was it Memorex?
Born again-     Jesus died for my shit.