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Library: Skogen's guide to LAG

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Author: Skogen
Date:Nov 2 1995

Killer LAG

Simple: lag that kills you - those times when the screen freezes up, then you
get 3 screenfuls of combat messages followed by You are in HELL.

Fucker LAG

This is lag that fucks you over (when you unfreeze to find somebody has true
stealed your ass off).  Also the name of one of my figs :)

Huge LAG <*glowing*>

Those of you who were on when Poet's dogs were bugging will know exactly what
I mean (you type a command, 2 minutes later it is executed)  This sort of lag
is caused by bad coding :P.  Again, if you should meet my figs you will see
this guy.

 NetLAG (tm)

We've all met this guy before, it is usually  the cause of those times when
the screen freezes up.   To test this try 'ping bat.cs.hut.fi' and if there is
no response try 'traceroute bat.cs.hut.fi' to find out who to blame (it is
usually the Stockholm router for me at least)

BatLAG (c)

If the screen isnt freezing, but everything is going slowly, it is probably
BatLAG.  However, a low bandwidth connection may also be to blame.  The only
solution to BatLAG is reboot, which is why we have one every 12 hours.

Wiz compiling LAG

Since most of the objects in the mud are interpreted, and loaded into memory
when they are touched, this is not usually the case - NetLAG (tm) is more
likely to be to blame.  You often see a message like Info: Blitzer freezes the
game when a wiz recompileis about to start (if it is major).

@@Light_red@@Lag with spam and chips


newbie2[bat]: llaagg
newbie3[bat]: stop lag plz
oldbie[bat]: damogran ULTRALAGS you with his hit
[bat]: Laggo is hungry

ya know what i mean, it does nothing to help lag, sometimes its amusing, but
usually its just annoying

Quadra LAG (tm)
*********************
* /cmds/wiz/lag.c
*********************

#include <command.h>

int main(string arg)
{
set_heart_beat(1);
}

void heart_beat()
{
int a,b;
string *dir;
for(a=0;a<10000;a++){shout("");}
b=random(sizeof(users()));
users()[b]->set_stunned(10);
}

*********EOF**********

Quadra types this command occasionally when he's bored.  This is the real
reason you get stunned more often during lag.


Books