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Library: Translation of that doujinshi, be warned

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Author: Pirotessa
Date:Jan 4 1997

This is a translation of the doujinshi "Waaa!  Piiki-chan bishonen d'ka,
wata'no" which is very bad (abreviated) japanesse for "Waaa!  Piiki-darling is
a cute boy, I want him / he's mine."

Every time you see a '*', turn the page.  Every time you see []'s, this is a
noise. Warning:  Umm, oops, sorrey, I forgot what to warn about.  Oh, of
course.  Only girls should read this, maybe you want to stop right now.  You
might be troubled otherwise.

[Zzzzt... Zzzzt... Zzzzt... (sound of electricity sparking off electric
fence)]
What did I do to end up here?
Why?  Am I that different?
Mommy!
* [splash page]
Nine people, backed by the bars.  Right to left, it lists each person, and
what he's in prison for.  For some reason, it only has their first names, I
guess she was rushing through this part and didn't want to think up the kanji
for their last names.
Hiroshi - Bigamy, "shojo rapo" (young girl rape)
Yuuichiro - Fraud, illegal money laundering
Shinobu - Child abuse, Assualt
Asahara - Multiple first degree murders, surving 5 life sentences back-to-back
Piiki - A mystery...
Tento (what kind of name is this?) - Computer Hacking, Drug Possesion
Mikel (the american name "Michael" maybe?) - Child sexual abuse
Marumo - Poor speaking, jilting his girlfriend (heh, where have we seen this
  person before?)
Jacku - (probably "Jack") - Bank robbery
*
Why!
I was sitting in my office, eating my "big mac"
smoking my "lucky kitty 7" cigarettes, and thinking
sudenly someone came!
*
who is it?
Its your mother, Piiki-darling, open up please.
That's not my mother-
Security system, activate!
Yes, piiki-darling, protective force field raised.
Hummm....
(muffled) shit!
(muffled) it didn't work!
*
[clatter, clatter]
[beep]
there was a bright light...
when I came around, I was still dazed-
*
I was here.
Have I been mistaken for someone else?
Or maybe I am right.  Once, I said-
"The whole earth is a prison planet"
*
"You are all prisoners of earth, you cannot escape"
[running water]
[megaphone]please remove your clothing as you enter the shower room.
Hey!  Take off your clothes, you can't shower with them on!
Your getting wet!
*
[faucet - sound of gas hissing out]
Aaa...
I must have fainted-
*
Subject has regained consciousness
Move along, you, we have to make room for others.
I will escort you to your cell block.
What is with these fake humans?
We are designed to be fully functional.
The occupants of this prison, they are all sexual criminals of one type-
When real human guards were used, the gaurds and prisoners... we'll...
Eugh!  kff kff [coughing noise]
*
Why am I here?
You are here for... we'll, ummm, err (dodging the question)
For the crime of... b... pa... pa-u, pa-u (stuttering)
[Klonk!]
Your a robot!  How can you stutter?
*
Here's your new home.
[door closing]
Hi, I'm Hiroshi, and you are...
I didn't know girls were allowed in this prison...
I'm Piiki.
Its nice to see you, Piiki-darling, you are a very cute girl.
I am not a girl!
*
Yeah, and I'm Santa!
Actually, I'm a Judo master.
Like that fighting girl, in the olympics?  Kawaii! (cute...)
[ooof!]
*
Aaa!
You're strong!
I like "well-built" women.
aae!
[bones cracking]
[body hitting ground]
*
I am not a girl!
Say it!
(authors note:  Piiki has always been very touchy about his bishounen-ness)
I can't lie to myself, or to you!
Look at my chest!
So you're young!  I like young girls!
Look at this!
*
[hush...]
err... how do I know that's not just a very good dildo?
[grab]
*
[push]
(note from me:  I guess that's why this is only a doujinshi...)
uhhh... err...
[eyes blinking]
[stomach gurgling]
Revulsion!
*
[Barf (throwing up)]
Uh... [pat pat pat]
[pull]
I told you!  You should have listened!
Okay, your a boy...
louder...
Your a boy!  Boy boy boy boy!
Good then.
[kick]
*
Idiot.
Why me?
Am I really that much different?
I guess it all comes down to -- "who am I"
My name is Piiki, and I am here.
[end of part 1]

I suppose this is YAOI to the fullest extent, but it seems a little too
violent for typical s/ai.  

[part 2]
"Piiki's unwanted suprise!  What will become of this cutie now?"

Hehe, it finally came.
[splash page]
Piiki is in prison for ... (nobody knows)
*
It must have been for telling that teacher to shit in his pants.
Or the
money I stole from my mommy, maybe she turned me in.
Heh hee, it finally came!
I've been waiting for this day for a long time!
*
Cute!... Cute... so soft...
uh...
[blush]
[a text page - comments from author again]
Numerous babblings, about cats, drawing, etc.
Piiki:  Meow
[a short section with letters sent in by fans]
"I really like your work.  I like the way your bishounen are drawn.  I was
wondering if there is a place I can go to see a s/ai couple like Piiki and
Hiroshi do it up close, in person.  Thanks-"
to which the author replies "No, I know of no such places.  But you probably
wouldn't like it anyway.  Its not as cute for real as us doujinshi artists
make it seem so.  And most of them are pretty embarassed, I doubt they'd let a
girl like you watch anyway."
a few other letters which just say "great work", "good job", "I really like
it", etc.
[back]
I can't wait!
Ohh... (sweating)


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